Wait, This Makes Me A Follower Doesn't It?

surrvival

2010-03-15T16:44:00.003-04:00

I am in real desperate need of an angel(or several) right now. As many of you know my partner of nearly 8 years and I broke up a couple months ago. I reached out to local friends and family for a place to stay and found a great place to call home with a couple of 70-something lesbians, really great place on a lake with lots of love and support to heal. One of the ladies herniated a disc in her back and had to have surgery and could no longer climb the stairs to their second floor bedroom, thus needing the guest room on the first floor so they had to ask me to move out. So I packed nearly everything I own in my car and headed for my safe haven the place I always end-up when I don't know where else to turn, Portland, Maine.

I have a few friends on whose couches I am able to stay but I seek my own space, I have a need to be my on my own for this part of my healing. The problem lies in the fact that because of medical conditions I have not really worked in over a year. I have applied and been denied disability twice however as I lay here typing this my entire right leg is numb, all pins and needles from the pinched nerves in my back. Yesterday it was another of my ailments I awoke at 8am with a migraine headache that did not ease up until 4 pm, I spent most of that time asleep because the pain was too much to handle. Since moving to Portland 10 days ago I have had 2 trips to the ER and one to an emergency dental clinic, I am not doing well thus far.

I am scared to put myself out there to prospective employers because I have been fired from my last 3 jobs due to being unreliable due to my health. I have borrowed mooney from a friend to pay my car insurance and am borrowing money from another to have the tooth pulled that is causing so much pain.

What I need right now is love, support and if anyone can send a few dollars my way, I will forever be indebted and ever so grateful. Click the link for my paypal account.

Full Circle

2010-02-04T01:59:00.002-05:00

I am realizing as we close in on a month single that I have come full circle over the last eight years. I am going to be going back to college hopefully moving back to Portland to do so. I am single again, I am back to owning nothing as far a furniture is concerned. There are a few other similarities that I won't get into here now.

Although where I started from and where I have ended up are a bit different I am not the same person I was 8 years ago. Today I have many different labels then I did then. Almost like I have grown into my own skin and I am more comfortable today being me then I was eight years ago, hell even eight months ago. I know that I am beautiful and worthy of love. For the first time in my life I can actually say that I love myself.

So maybe it is not so much a circle but a spiral where the lines don't meet, because I am not in the same place I was eight years ago, not at all.

Admiting, accepting, advancing

2010-01-19T13:45:00.004-05:00

Okay so it is now day 11 in my newly single life. I still can't say as I like it all that much but I am a survivor and I will be okay. This week and a half has left a lot of room for thought, reflection, soul searching and yes even growth. Anyone familiar with any 12 step program knows that the first step is admitting that there is a problem that you are powerless over and that your life is unmanageable.

Well I am at that point, the problem is life as a whole and I am powerless over pretty much everything right now, my life is in shambles and was utterly unmanageable just days ago. I have come to the realization that while it is still in shambles I can manage it one day at a time don't ask me what my plans are for next week as at this point I can't look that far ahead without getting lost. The only thing I know for sure is that I am reapplying for college, it was something that I have been thinking about and toying with for awhile and I am just going to bite the bullet and do it.

Then there is the Serenity Prayer; God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. I am accepting that I can not change the things that have happened. The breakup is not going to be over and she isn't going to want me back. What I can change is how I look at it, and what my roll in the future will be. I can change my actions, thoughts and ideas for today and that is all.

I have come to realize that we had a lot of problems that I just chose to ignore. Thus causing them to build and escalate over time. I am really sorry that was the path took and if I had it to do all over again I would change that but I don't. I have realized that I often took Dawn for granted and that was not fair to her and was highly inappropriate. Dawn if you do happen to read this please know that I truly am very sorry. Dawn often said that she didn't always want to have to be the grown-up, I didn't get it. I have realized that while I am an adult I am not sure I know how to be a grown-up, well it is sink or swim time and I need to learn and FAST!!

For now I am living one day at a time and that is the very best I can do. I love her deeply and I know and am trying to let her go.

unwelcome changes

2010-01-13T11:11:00.003-05:00

Life as I have known it for the last eight years is over. Most of you also read Dawn's stuff over at Weldable Cookies, so you probably already know that she broke up with me on Friday and I moved out on Saturday. This was completely unexpected, yes we have been having some rough times and nearly broke-up last month but we had been closer and more involved with each other in that last month then we probably had been all of the previous year. I really thought we were going to be okay, to me she was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

Now I don't have her, our life, our home, or our "fur kids". I was floundering before the break-up on what to do with life. I had just been denied disability again, and I had been pretty hopeful about this application and the physical that took place that I would be approved and have some money coming in, now I really don't know. I guess she was right a couple of months ago when she declared that I needed to go back to work whether I could handle it or not. For the next two months I have a place to be and no real expenses but I need to move on by St. Patrick's Day and without income that is going to be difficult.

Yesterday I had a wonderful day, went to a noontime al-anon meeting that was amazing, took a wonderful bubble bath with aroma therapy bubbles, went and saw some friends, my little sister took me out to dinner at my favorite restaurant(which was OUR favorite restaurant), went to an evening meeting and then stopped and picked up some Ben and Jerry's on the way back to the house.

Today I am miserable. I am so emotional I want to scream, cry and throw-up but none of those things will actually come out. I want to be angry that she has done this to me, that she gave up on us, and most of all that she has done it so nicely, no fighting, no screaming, no get out NOW, no I want all traces of you gone from my life. That is the type of break-up I am used to. I feel guilty that I let her down, that I didn't live up to her expectations and that I was so needy that I sucked away her soul. I want to hold and squeeze Quinn and make her make her happy little pig noises but leaving her hurts so bad that I am afraid to see her.

Last night I saw Dawn across a parking lot and the pain was amazing but at the same time the attraction was so intense like back before we got together when I thought she was way out of my league I wanted her so badly but never thought I could have her, now I know I can't have her anymore. I keep hoping that maybe somehow we will find our way through this and back together, it is obvious that she is hurting too read her latest post and you will see. However she does not see that as a possibility.

I looked up the 7 stages of grief because really that is what I am going through this is a death of our relationship of everything that we have built over the last nearly eight years. I am guessing that I am somewhere in the first 3 stages and that there is a lot more pain and suffering to go before I'm done.

Shock stage: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news.
Denial stage: Trying to avoid the inevitable.
Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.
Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out.
Depression stage: Final realization of the inevitable.
Testing stage: Seeking realistic solutions.
Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward.

well shoot

2009-11-24T00:05:00.002-05:00

I was working on researching a great post and now it is 12:06AM. I missed the damned deadline. Dawn fell asleep on the couch woke up to go pee and then went to bed without posting so we are out of NaBloPoMo. I guess it is good 'cause we don't have to go hide behind the gym when the Aunt gets here for Thanksgiving. See she doesn't know we blog and we don't want her to. If you are a reader of Dawn's you will remember this from last year while we were at her house. I will still post the great post tomorrow but since I am late tonight I am not making an promises from here on out.

Good night all.

nothing

2009-11-22T17:41:00.002-05:00

So tired today, haven't been able to sleep for a couple of nights. Still away from home and not sure what to write. Dawn is booting me as it is time for a mini- thanksgiving dinner.

video worm

2009-11-21T17:22:00.003-05:00

I am cheating tonight I am away from home and so I am giving you my absolute favorite brain worm video. WARNING: you may not want to listen with children in the room. It is an adult themed song and you are going to find yourself humming it in the aisles of your local grocery store.

Friday Fill-in

2009-11-20T22:50:00.002-05:00

Introducing a new aspect to my blog to help after NaBloPoMo ends I will hopefilly post once a week from now on...

And...here we go!

1. The last band I saw live was __The Indigo Girls__.

2. What I look forward to most on Thanksgiving is _sandwiches_.

3. My Christmas/holiday shopping is __not happening___.

4. Thoughts of __bills___ fill my head.

5. I wish I could wear __snow pants__.

6. Bagpipes __are awesome_.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _(intentionally left blank)____, tomorrow my plans include _travel_ and Sunday, I want to _EAT_(mini Thanksgiving)__!

where to next

2009-11-19T22:23:00.005-05:00

so since I have been unemployed and unemployable a lot of people have asked me "What do you WANT to do?" I am a few months shy of 33 and I have no idea what I want to be when I grow-up. A few years ago I wanted to be a architectural model architect. Remember there was one of those prostate ads there was this HUGE coffee cup in a tiny city? The guy with the "growing problem" worked shrinking things. I wanted to do that, scenes for movies, and integrity models, you know building a skyscraper scale model to see how it holds up in a wind tunnel. Now I am not sure. I mean I have no idea what would make me happy. I would love to do something helping people as I am great in that capacity but I have no idea what exactly. I participated in a teleconference last night called "For Love & Money" it was very cool. There was a visualization piece where she took us to visit ourselves in our home 20 years from now. I could see a nice house and my grey haired self answer the door. I seemed happy but I had no idea how I got there. I just could not see what got me that house. I don't seem to have a fire at all. Hmmph oh well have an ancient video of a young (16) and still very black Boy Jackson and Roberta Flack.

Holiday wishes

2009-11-18T19:39:00.003-05:00

So remember on the meme thing where I got tagged I said that all I want for the holidays is a Wii Fit?? Well I wrote to Santa and sent her a link to a pre-black Friday sale and used all of the best reasoning and of the hot words I could come up with. Well today I opened my email and there in my inbox was a return letter from Santa and we are getting a Wii for the holidays.

Not just the Wii but we are getting; the Nintendo Wii console with Wii Sports, Wii Balance Board with Wii Fit Plus, and $25 eGift Card - Value Bundle! We will use the gift card towards the balance of a second Wiimote and nunchuk as the console only comes with one of each.

The most amazing thing about this?? That Ms. Grumpypants (aka Dawn) wants it too! We have never owned a video game console in the nearly 8 years we have been together she has hated them. But she has played golf on the Wii of some friends and I think that is what sold her. Plus all of our friends who have the Fit swear that they feel better and are having fun getting in shape and loosing weight with it. I know that after just a couple of hours of playing the sports my arms hurt for a couple of days after, so I do believe that this will be a life changing gift.

Here is to a New Years Resolution we MIGHT be able to keep. Happier, Healthier more active us.

disapointment

2009-11-17T21:29:00.000-05:00

with the heavens...

I am a self avowed weather geek. Astrology plays a good part in meteorology in my mind and so when I saw Leonid Meteor Shower 2009Biggest Meteor Shower of the Modern Age show up on my Facebook I was stoked! We caught the Perseids back in August and they were awesome.

I don't know maybe it was better because we were outside in shorts and t-shirts and with good company. Now it is November in Maine the mercury is below the freezing mark and there is a frost on the grass and the cars. Now I am a Mainer born and raised I can't yet trace back all the generations but we are tried and true, but I hate the cold. So I didn't want to stay out there as long.

Well take a look at this link I found on the Facebook page of the Leonids;
Geminids Meteor Shower 2009 Biggest Meteor Shower of the Modern Age (huh??? sounds familiar doesn't it??) here is what else it says about this show;

The Geminids are now considered by many astronomers to be the most consistent and active annual shower. The Geminids are known for producing up to 60 different colored meteors per hour during their peak. The peak of the shower is on December 13th and 14th.

Geminid Meteor Shower for the best view, One should face east and look between one half to one third of the way up in the sky.

The best time is to watch is generally 9 p.m. to 4 a.m. on the peak days.

Let's see if Santa can help with these ones, and that they are worth freezing my butt off for.

OMG!!! I got tagged- Lucky 7

2009-11-16T12:05:00.005-05:00

So my blog is nearly 1½ years old and I have yet to be tagged for ANYTHING I am sooo excited that Jen is helping me out with this NaBloPoMo thing by tagging me and essentially giving me a gimme for today!!! Thanks Jen!

So here it is;

Rules:

1. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 random and or weird things about yourself.
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
4. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

here we go seven random or weird thing about moi;

1. I am ambidextrous and dyslexic which I am convinced are the reasons I can not type well or play a guitar.

2. I am the eldest of three children but yet the shortest at only 5'1"(on a good day)

3. I only got my drivers license just a few weeks before my 21st birthday and in the 11 years since I have never gotten a ticket (knocking on my desk here)

4. I have known I was "different" (read not straight) since about the age of 3

5. I have not completed college in fact I only have 1 year complete and I probably never will go back

6. All I want for Christmas/Solstice is a Wii Fit

7. I live in one of the most beautiful places on Earth. Acadia is amazing but I hate it here.

Now to tag 7 people well lets see this isn't completely random because they are all on my blogroll but here it is;

1. Leo- butch girlcat

2. FG- Freedomgirl

3. Sharon- The Queen's Blog

4. Fia-Properly Inappropriate

5. Jen- Mainuh? Yessuh!

6. DolphynGyrl- The Verbosery

7. and last but never ever least my beloved Dawn- Weldable Cookies

Desperation

2009-11-15T23:45:00.003-05:00

Today I asked for monetary donations on Facebook. There were a bunch of motivating factors, one we both need new thermostats for our vehicles. While it was in the 60°s today and is in fact still 54° at nearly midnight it is November in Maine and it is going to get cold sooner rather than later.

Dawn's isn't that big of a deal as she drives a big old Ford F150 and can probably do it herself in the driveway and it is a $20 part. My thermostat is only about $15 dollars but it is in a very tricky place that our mechanic says will take at LEAST an hour to do. I also would like to fill the oil tank, so we don't have to think about it for a little while. I got notification that Unemployment overpaid me and now I owe them $262 dollars. Last but not least I want to move. I feel that we are sort of marooning ourselves living on this island. Like today I asked Dawn was it that we wanted to sleep in this morning that we didn't go to church or was it that we didn't want to drive 30+ miles one way? I feel that is our excuse most of the time everything is too far away.

It is also time fro me to try to look for work again. No I am not any better physically, emotionally I am a little better but we can't afford for me not to try. And I have to go off island to find work so it is time to give up our little cottage.

Ugg...NaBloPoMo may drive me mad

2009-11-14T21:47:00.003-05:00

I signed up for this thing and now I am not so sure. I might throw in the towel early I know there are others who haven't made it this long but still. I have had some pretty lame-assed posts just to say I posted something today.

Right now I got nothing, my head is foggy with lots of numbers and town names swimming around as Dawn has me compiling data from 6 elections between 1995 and a week and a half ago that dealt with our civil rights as lesbians. I have tried to forget the one in 2000 where my partner at the time and I were talking to our neighbor and our landlord on the eve of the election and how we hoped that since we lived there they would support us and vote Yes on Question 6, which read;

Do you favor ratifying the action of the 119th Legislature whereby it passed an act extending to all citizens regardless of their sexual orientation the same basic rights to protection against discrimination now guaranteed to citizens on the basis of race, color, religion, sex or national origin in the areas of employment, housing, public accommodation and credit and where the act expressly states that nothing in the act confers legislative approval of, or special rights to, any person or group of persons?

They said, but I thought it was already the law and we explained this was to ratify and put the law into effect. The nodded said okay and we all went our ways into our apartments. Well the next morning we got up, went and cast our ballots then went to work. While working we had been asking customers how things were going with results and knew we had lost before the end of the shift. We arrived home after closing the restaurant fairly late and found an eviction notice on our door. This was 2000 and we were legally thrown out of our home for being gay and for trying to educate our landlord. We had no place to go, we ended up breaking up. I moved in with some friends and she moved back to Kentucky.

The next election was not until 2005 when we again voted on basic civil protections. Question 1 read;

Do you want to reject the new law that would protect people from discrimination in employment, housing, education, public accommodations and credit based on their sexual orientation?

Miracle of miracles THIS was our year the No vote prevailed and we were a step closer to being, full class human beings. Just 10 days ago we were reminded again that 53% of the voters who cast ballots in this off year election don't quite think we are there yet.

yesterday , all around the world a wonderful thing began

2009-11-13T18:15:00.002-05:00

You might have noticed the new banner over there to the left or you might not have but I would like to draw your attention there now. This is the Charter for Compassion it was a wish of last years TED prize winner Karen Armstrong, yesterday after a year of planning and compiling of stories it was unveiled to the world!

"The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves. Compassion impels us to work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world and put another there, and to honour the inviolable sanctity of every single human being, treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity and respect.

It is also necessary in both public and private life to refrain consistently and empathically from inflicting pain. To act or speak violently out of spite, chauvinism, or self-interest, to impoverish, exploit or deny basic rights to anybody, and to incite hatred by denigrating others—even our enemies—is a denial of our common humanity. We acknowledge that we have failed to live compassionately and that some have even increased the sum of human misery in the name of religion.

We therefore call upon all men and women ~ to restore compassion to the centre of morality and religion ~ to return to the ancient principle that any interpretation of scripture that breeds violence, hatred or disdain is illegitimate ~ to ensure that youth are given accurate and respectful information about other traditions, religions and cultures ~ to encourage a positive appreciation of cultural and religious diversity ~ to cultivate an informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings—even those regarded as enemies.

We urgently need to make compassion a clear, luminous and dynamic force in our polarized world. Rooted in a principled determination to transcend selfishness, compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological and religious boundaries. Born of our deep interdependence, compassion is essential to human relationships and to a fulfilled humanity. It is the path to enlightenment, and indispensible to the creation of a just economy and a peaceful global community."

Please support and affirm the Charter by adding your name to the growing list of affirmers by visiting the website.

10563 have affirmed so far, including;

His Holiness the Dalai Lama
Her Majesty Queen Noor of Jordan- Chair, King Hussein Foundation
Paul Simon- Musician
Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Mpilo Tutu
Sir Ken Robinson- Author
Deepak Chopra- Author
Sheikh Ali Gomaa- Grand Mufti of Egypt
Professor Candido Mendes- Secretary General, Académie de la Latinité
Goldie Hawn- Actor
Dr. Abdul Sattar Edhi- Founder, Edhi Foundation
and ME!

Now I don't consider myself a religious person, but I do try to live ethically and I am spiritual. Above all though I believe in the Golden Rule, especially in light of the recent election. Treat others as you, yourself want to be treated. Why is that so hard for some to grasp. Won't you join me in this amazing call for compassion?

todays no stop song

2009-11-12T23:41:00.002-05:00

Sorry all, but it has been in my head all day and now it is your turn;

Check out how he is ROCKING that mesh sweater!! OMG did we really think those were cool? And the dumbbells WOW! The sad thing is this song reached #2 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1989.

Here I will even included the lyrics for you.

Cash cold that's what I need
These bill collectors they ring my phone
They bother me when I'm not at home
Ain't go no time to be fooling round
Feet touch the floors and I get on down, you see

Chorus:
I want money lots and lots of money
I want the pie in the sky
I want money lots and lots of money
So don't be asking me why

I wanna be rich oh
I wanna be rich
I wanna be rich oh
I wanna be rich

For a little love peace and happiness

I want my cake wanna eat it too
I want the stars and the silver moon
I spend my money of lottery
My favorite number is 1 2 3, you see

Chorus

Every way rich
Love peace and happiness
I want all the things that lovers do
A pocketful of dreams come true
Everything you can not find
Want you by my side?

That keep you satisfied and rich
Here is what you gonna do
Say oh I say uh uh
Got to be baby
I just wanna be rich
I just wanna be, just wanna be
Cause baby

Chorus

Be rich I wanna be rich
I know what I mean baby
Everyday and every way
Play baby there is lots for everyone

Mom update

2009-11-11T21:55:00.003-05:00

First I would like to thank both of you that now read my blog for the kind thoughts and well wishes, for her recovery and my sanity. She called last night and was up and walking during the day. Sitting in a chair and eating normally. The doctor who preformed her hysterectomy told heron the Friday that she saw her in the ICU she didn't have much hope of her making it. She then said that she was very proud of her and called her a trooper.

Mom asked if she was going to be able to leave at some point and the Dr. asked her well when do you think you will be ready to go home? Mom answered let's shoot for the end of the week see how things are at that point and then decide.

So she could be back at home by this weekend. She need to have a ramp built on their trailer and the home health care needs to be approved but the hospital social workers see no issue with that. So we will see.

Now the question becomes what do I do now? See I have been trying to distance myself from her for a few years now. I don't need the stress in my life that she inflicts with her emotional abuse. Hello she has never in my lifetime weighed less then 320 pounds, (though some of it is not her fault a diet of Mtn. Dew and Ring Dings don't help) she is always commenting not just on my size but plain out talks about how FAT I am! No I am not small, I NEVER have been there are NO small women in our gene-pool. But jeez the way the pot calls the kettle is absolutely asinine. She may have FINALLY come to terms that my being a big old dyke is NOT a phase after just 17 years! However she hates Dawn nearly as much as Dawn hates her. Her newly ex-husband and I can't stand each other, but he isn't going anywhere they did it for the money(don't ask, that is another post entirely).

So what do I do, now that she has had her brush with death and all of us were there she is going to want us all back in her life all of the time, and I am afraid.

bad day

2009-11-10T23:25:00.004-05:00

Two days ago Dawn wrote about how grateful she was to have me. Today I am not sure that she is as grateful. I was pretty sure this morning that if I went to Fail Blog that there would be a picture of me in my tie-dyed flannel pajamas with EPIC FAIL stamped across my forehead.

To start things off I awoke at 5dark:thirty with a migraine. I got up took some meds, put my sleep mask/blindfold thing on to ward of the increasing daylight, and crawled back in bed. Dawn awoke a few hours later and got up I knew she had planned some quiet reflection time this morning so I figured it was safe for me to stay in bed so I did. When I did crawl out of bed at around 9 she was ready to begin her day. She asked if I had done something yesterday and I had not. When she asked why I told her that 1. I had asked her to do it and 2. the deadline was yesterday and by the time I had a chance to do it I would not have had a chance to turn it in.

Well, I am not even sure what happened after that but I know she was PISSED. She said I've got to go, stomped out of the house slamming the door without a kiss or anything. Then she peeled out backing out of her spot, peeled it again pulling forward from where she had backed and a THIRD time when she hit the gas to leave the the driveway. I was crying before the door slammed, I felt worse then shit.

So I look and a friend is on so I chat with her here is how that started;

10:58 AM me: hey

L: hey what's up?

10:59 AM me: I suck

L: oh dear.

11:00 AM me: I think I need to leave Dawn that she would be better off without me, she just peeled out of the yard

I don't know what to do

11:01 AM L: um.

me: I keep fucking up

R: sounds like you're frustrated and depressed.

me: she is soo mad at me

11:02 AM we have been fighting for two days every minute that we are together is spent screaming

L: gah!

what's going on?

L talked me off the ledge, I didn't pack my shit. I continued to sort through the bs with L until Dawn came home then I didn't want another reason for her to be upset so I got offline. During the chat I call the place and they say that it wasn't a deadline more a GUIDEline and that I have until just before thanksgiving to get it in.

By 1PM we were both leaving the house to run errands we had not screamed at each other and she apologized for losing her temper like that and being a grumpus head in general. I apologized that I had not done the thing that started it all this morning but that I really needed her help with it or I wouldn't have asked. We went our separate ways to do our separate tasks.

As I was coming home I nearly hit a big buck with a bum back leg. He was next door and came into our yard once he got out of my way. I saw him walk across the back yard, I ran to get a flashlight as I could no longer see him in the thicket. I went back out and could hear him but we couldn't find him, even with a cop and the landlord. Oh well we have some venison in the freezer already a friend's dad got his deer and she gave us some of the meat he had given her.

Tonight things are back to normal. I did the task I didn't think I could do, all by myself. I also did a couple loads of laundry and of dishes. All in all I am still not sure why she loves me so.

serene places

2009-11-09T23:12:00.008-05:00

Okay so this blogging everyday is really a difficult task. I just am not as witty as I need to be to do this apparently. So I am going to give you a picture of one of my favorite spots. This is a tiny brook that runs under the Acadia National Park Loop Road. I sit on that little gravelly beach on the far side and cast my line. I cast to my left (the right side of the photo) and let it slowly float downstream and under the bridge. I am merely two feet away from the road with its cars, trucks and RV's from Connecticut, New York and Minnesota.

However none of them know that I am there. I am alone in my only little world, it is just one of the many wonders here in my backyard. Come visit us sometime.

Stolen Meme

2009-11-08T23:00:00.003-05:00

Yes I stole it from Daily Meme's Sunday Steal and my friend Leo;

1. What is the color of your toothbrush? Purple & White

2. Name one person who made you smile today. My sweetheart

3. What were you doing at 8am this morning? sleeping/warding off a migraine (success!)

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? watching Monday Night Football and eating homemade sushi with my sweetie

5. What is your favorite candy bar? 100 Grand

6. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yes the LGBT bar I was a bouncer at was next door to one and our DJ was engaged to one of the ladies and I would go over and watch her dance then walk her to the bar after her performance.

7. What is the last thing you said aloud? Hey look at what I found on Daily Meme!

8. What is your favorite ice cream? Ben and Jerry's Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz which is sadly only available in Scoop Shops and the closest one of those to us is 100 miles away :(

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? tap water fresh from our well

10. Do you like your wallet? not really but it is functional

11. What was the last thing you ate? homemade sushi!

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? nope can't tell you the last time I bought new clothing

13. The last sporting event you watched? I am sort-of watching MNF over my shoulder

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?Act II movie theater butter

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?: my plan doesn't have texting

16. Ever go camping? ever?? Yes recently?? No been since July of '06

17. Do you take vitamins daily? No

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? No

19. Do you have a tan? still a bit of a farmer tan but that isn't saying much

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? I have Chinese more often but like pizza better

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? Only if it is served in a paper cup

22. What did your last text message say? see #15 above

23. What are you doing tomorrow? installing a deer fence (to keep deer from eating the woman's plants), a bit of household shopping

24. Favorite color? Blue or purple

25. Look to your left; what do you see? the cat taking a bath

26. What color is your watch? I haven't worn it in a couple weeks, maybe black?

27. What do you think of when you hear “Australia”? of a cute surfer girl I know...

28. Would you strip for money? doubt it

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Usually in so I can use the restroom too.

30. What is your favorite number? Not sure I have one

31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone? Toby

32. Any plans today? Today??? It is 11:39PM I MIGHT make it to bed before tomorrow.

33. In how many states have you lived? Two

34. Biggest annoyance right now? having lost my right to marry in my home state.

35. Last song listened to? does the MNF theme count? Probably not, so it was With a Little Help From My Friends

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? yes in about 3 seconds

37. Do you have a maid service clean your house? Um, I WISH!!

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? Reebok sneakers (the same ones the NFL refs wear) very comfy :)

39. Are you jealous of anyone? not at the moment

40. Is anyone jealous of you? who cares

41. Do you love anyone? but of course

42. Do any of your friends have children? Many of them do, yes

43. What do you usually do during the day? FACEBOOK!!!

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? Not anyone I have ever met (Sarah, Ann, & Rush come to mind though)

45. Do you use the word hello daily? I don't think I do I am a "Hey" person

46. What color is your car? Red

47. What size wedding ring do you wear? I am not allowed to marry so I don't have a wedding ring, my commitment/promise band is a 9 I think.

48. Are you thinking about someone right now? Not really

49. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Nope

50. How did you get your worst scar? surgery, to remove a cyst on my left wrist I don't scar easily so incidental ones have gone away.

a plea

2009-11-07T10:25:00.004-05:00

Have you all written, emailed and called your senators and congresspersons asking them to support Health Care Reform??? If you haven't now is the time and make sure you let them know how you feel about the anti-choice Stupak amendment here is the CNN link.

If you happen to be one of the few lucky people in this country with a good health care plan congratulations! I am a person who hasn't had ANY health care plan in nearly a year and no way to pay for it because my health won't let me work. Not that I could ever get insurance at this point because my list of pre-existing conditions start with being a woman and go down-hill from there; depressed - check, asthmatic - check, rape survivor- check, morbid obesity - check, ex-smoker - check, suicidal tendencies - check, spondylitis - check, at least I haven't been able to afford therapy so that won't count against me.

If you have insurance that works great, but do me a favor and think about those of us that are lest fortunate.

uh oh

2009-11-06T23:25:00.003-05:00

Almost forgot to post today not sure if I am gonna make it for this whole month thing. I am determined to try which means if we travel at all this month Dawn needs to share her laptop so I can post on the days I don't have access to my desktop.

In other news talked to mom yesterday she is still in the hospital but sounds much better and says she feels much better. Apparently there was some issue that happened and she ended up with a sore back (not really sure what happened) but between that and the fact that she had a 36 pound growth hanging from her abdomen past her knees she has basically been immobile for a fairly long time they want to put her into a rehab center. I am hoping that they can put her in one somewhere around her so that the family can go see her.

I am a stiff and sore woman tonight Dawn and I spent about 8 hours cleaning out a basement. We did about 4 hour shifts for the past two days but it was nearly too much for me. We shall see how I am feeling when I wake up as that is usually the worst time for me.

And now for another video;

At a loss...

2009-11-05T22:22:00.003-05:00

Tonight I seem not to have words so I give you this beautiful slide show instead;

This video would not have been possible without photograher Jo Moser (check her out at: www.gaylifephotography.com), filmmaker Phyllis Famiglietti, and the many families in Maine who participated in this project. Please do your part to support marriage for ALL Maine families. Visit EqualityMaine.org

It ain't over

2009-11-04T11:11:00.010-05:00

It is now noon the day after one of the most important election days of my young life. We had the highest voter turn out of an off year election ever! 60% of registered voters voted. And I am somber and mournful that in the year 2009 the rights of the minority are still being undone by the votes of the majority. Right now with 96% of precincts reporting it is 297096(52.77%) want to reject the law that allows same-sex couples to marry and 265940(47.23%) want to keep the law. That is a difference of 31156 votes or 5.54% of the folks that voted have decided that this maybe one of these would be an appropriate license plate for me now;
So what do you all think?? Which shall I go with? UNEQUAL, LESS HUMAN, or 2ND CLASS? I think they all make wonderful statements, however they are just temporary classifications as love wins in the end, love didn't win this time so it is not the end we will continue to fight and we will be legally married here in Maine.

well here we go...

2009-11-03T13:14:00.003-05:00

Here it is Election Day '09! Maine has 7 issues on the state ballot;

Question 1: People's Veto
An Act To End Discrimination in Civil Marriage and Affirm Religious Freedom
"Do you want to reject the new law that lets same-sex couples marry and allows individuals and religious groups to refuse to preform these marriages?"
I voted NO! To provide equality under the law for all Maine families and so I can marry Dawn

Question 2: Citizen Initiative
An Act to Decrease the Automobile Excise Tax and Promote Energy
“Do you want to cut the rate of the municipal excise tax by an average of 55% on motor vehicles less than six years old and exempt hybrid and other alternative-energy and highly fuel-efficient motor vehicles from sales tax and three years of excise tax?”
I voted NO! Why should I be punished because I can't afford a new car and excise tax repairs and maintains roads and bridges, INCLUDING plowing and sanding.

Question 3: Citizen Initiative

An Act to Repeal the School District Consolidation Laws
“Do you want to repeal the 2007 law on school district consolidation and restore the laws previously in effect?”
I voted NO! School consolidation is a great thing for Maine's children, and reversing it will cost too much and hurt too many.

Question 4: Citizen Initiative

An Act to Provide Tax Relief
“Do you want to change the existing formulas that limit state and local government spending and require voter approval by referendum for spending over those limits and for increases in state taxes?”
I voted NO! TABOR is bad if you have any doubts just ask Jen

Question 5: Citizen Initiative

An Act to Establish the Maine Medical Marijuana Act
“Do you want to change the medical marijuana laws to allow treatment of more medical conditions and to create a regulated system of distribution?”
I voted YES! Medical marijuana has been legal for years now but there has not been a legal way to buy it if you don't want to grow your own.

Question 6: Bond Issue

“Do you favor a $71,250,000 bond issue for improvements to highways and bridges, airports, public transit facilities, ferry and port facilities, including port and harbor structures, as well as funds for the LifeFlight Foundation that will make the State eligible for over $148,000,000 in federal and other matching funds?”
It is a bond issue, I ALWAYS vote YES! for bond issues they mean jobs and infrastructure maintenance.

Question 7: Constitutional Amendment

"Do you favor amending the Constitution of Maine to increase the amount of time that local officials have to certify the signatures on direct initiative petitions?”
I voted YES! With all their other work they just don't have enough time to make sure that the signatures are valid.

We are heading out to campaign headquarters now please keep your fingers crossed that by the time we get home we will be legitimately engaged! If you want to know what is happening head over to Dawn's blog for a list of links. Or for just question 1 follow on Twitter #VoteNoOn1

Election day eve

2009-11-02T19:12:00.005-05:00

First I must say how grateful I am that election day happens but once a year I am not sure I could handle all of this more often. Last year it was all about Obama and while I bought the t-shirt and CD and I had bumper stickers and buttons. I only spent part of one day working on his campaign.

I spent a few months working a fair amount of hours on the campaign of a dear friend who was running for the local State Representative seat and once we got all of her constituents taken care of I started calling the mid-west to get out the vote for Obama.

This year it is the battle here in Maine to protect the new law passed though our State Legislature and signed by Governor John Baldacci that would allow me and my beloved to get married here at home and have it be legal. I have spent countless hours working on this campaign starting back in April when we had the public hearing before the Judiciary Committee the like 13 hour long public hearing. With about 4000 attendees 3000 of which supported the bill at hand LD 1020, An Act To End Discrimination In Civil Marriage and Affirm Religious Freedom.

The polls close in just about 24 hours. I had wanted work as much as possible in the last 96 hours but after this past week I just am not able to. I am mentally and physically toast at this point so much so it has taken me well over an hour to write this little bit, I am done.

on stress, chaos, family and elections

2009-11-01T20:19:00.003-05:00

WOW!! What a week!

Some background, I am the eldest of three children. I am the queer radical outcast, next is the younger brother with the wife and grand kids, then the baby girl (who is fast approaching 30), with some emotional and physical health issues. My brother lives next door to our mother and interacts with her on a nearly daily basis. I live 40+/- miles away and only have the occasional telephone conversation. My sister lives across town from mom and earlier this year cut ties with mom for her own sanity.

About two months ago mom was diagnosed with endometrial cancer. She was referred to a surgeon in the largest hospital in Maine about 3 hours away from our home for her safety. She is a morbidly obese woman who also has a lymphodema growth on her abdomen. They are convinced that they need to have her in the hospital best equipped to handle any issues that may arise. Mom meets with the OB/GYN who is concerned about the lymphodema growth being in the way to do the hysterectomy, so she consults with another surgeon who meets with mom and agrees to remove the growth and some of the fatty tissue around it, at the same time(well slightly before) the hysterectomy. She had the surgeries on Tuesday and all went well. She was in recovery and doing fairly well until late Thursday night early Friday morning when she became unresponsive. Something had caused her kidneys to fail.

At o'dark thirty (or 6AM) I got awoken by a phone call from my brother. He had been down with her during the surgery and had come home and was working an over-night when he got a call from our newly ex-step-dad telling him that mom had been transferred from the recovery ward to ICU and things were not looking good. So I wake-up in a hurry call my sister and tell her that things are bad and that my partner and I are coming to get her no arguing she was going. The three of us hurry down the interstate and get to the hospital by 11am. We go in and she is barely responsive and pretty incoherent when she does try to respond. The doctors have decided that dialysis is the best step to take and since mom is out of it they need someone else to give consent. She is newly divorced (don't ask, that is another post entirely) while he (Joe) is right there, he has no legal authority to sign the paperwork that is up to me as her eldest and therefore next-of-kin. So I sign and we wait.

Meanwhile my brother and sister-in-law show-up at the hospital and there are now 6 of us in the waiting room doing exactly that, waiting, and waiting and waiting some more. A little uncomfortably as none of us are all too close to Joe who is looking much like one of the Gieco cavemen and snoring loudly. Then the cavalry shows up oh hell.

My mom's mother, step-father, half-sister and her loser boyfriend. The hillbillies have come to Beverly. No this is not much of a stretch between the four of them there may be a full set of teeth and one high school diploma earned through special ed. All of them prone to lots of drama and hysterics based in some other reality. I am NOT in a space to deal with them. They are not happy with my sister and her cutting mom out of her life and they hate my partner. So now the 10 of us sitting in close proximity trying not to look at or talk to each other. We spend the entire afternoon like this interspersed with visits to mom's bedside. Eventually we all end up heading to various hotels and couches around the city.

We arrive at the hospital on Saturday after my brother and sister-in-law and mom had been asking for us. We go to see her but they are preparing to change her linens and we are allowed about 30 seconds. This is all ANY of us other then Joe get to see of her after this. The grandparents accuse me of not signing for a procedure but a thing that doesn't allow them to see her. WHATEVER! They get pissy and leave and head home. The rest of us head out to the places we are crashing for the night.

Today is Sunday, we arrive this morning and mom is not looking much better but they say she is doing better. As the day progresses we see that this is true she is awake and talking and making a lot of noise like mom does. My partner and I go in and talk to the resident on duty Doogie Howser, M.D. says that she is off all medications and her kidneys are on the mend and starting to function again. Brother and sister-in-law headed home to their children and jobs. We are here for one more night and we will check-in at the hospital in the morning. Have lunch with a friend and then head home.

Where we will drop my sister off at her house and my partner nay fiancee will throw ourselves head-long back into the final hours of the campaign that we have been working day-in and day out since March. We want to get married, to stop being second class citizens in our state, so we will be making phone calls and knocking on doors and data entry for 24 hrs and hopefully at the end of it all the people of Maine will vote for equality and fairness and we can get married.

Better a litte late... Banned Books Week 2009

2009-10-01T10:37:00.005-04:00

Banned Books Week is nearly over, as I am no longer in the book industry it nearly slipped by. However there are still a few days September 26 - October 3 is the week that the American Library Association has choosen as the week to celebrate the freedom to read.

I am in love with this poster;

although I really like the two I used last year this one highlights children's books which are the ones most often challenged. As parents want to protect their children from the evils of talking animals as in Charlotte's Web, or from the witchcraft of the Harry Potter series, or issues of sexuality as is the case with this years most challenged book; And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell and illustrated by Henry Cole.

This book tells the TRUE STORY of two male chinstrap penguins in the the New York Central Park Zoo and their adoption of an egg and subsequent chick, dubbed Tango. Oh my goodness gracious me don't let the children know that homosexuality happens in nature!!! PUHLEAZE!!! Get over it people.

Without this turning into a political post over civil rights here it is;

The top ten most frequently challenged books of 2008

Out of 513 challenges as reported to the Office for Intellectual Freedom

And Tango Makes Three, by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell
Reasons: anti-ethnic, anti-family, homosexuality, religious viewpoint, and unsuited to age group
His Dark Materials trilogy, by Philip Pullman
Reasons: political viewpoint, religious viewpoint, and violence
TTYL; TTFN; L8R, G8R (series), by Lauren Myracle
Reasons: offensive language, sexually explicit, and unsuited to age group
Scary Stories (series), by Alvin Schwartz
Reasons: occult/satanism, religious viewpoint, and violence
Bless Me, Ultima, by Rudolfo Anaya
Reasons: occult/satanism, offensive language, religious viewpoint, sexually explicit, and violence
The Perks of Being a Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky
Reasons: drugs, homosexuality, nudity, offensive language, sexually explicit, suicide, and unsuited to age group
Gossip Girl (series), by Cecily von Ziegesar
Reasons: offensive language, sexually explicit, and unsuited to age group
Uncle Bobby's Wedding, by Sarah S. Brannen
Reasons: homosexuality and unsuited to age group
The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini
Reasons: offensive language, sexually explicit, and unsuited to age group
Flashcards of My Life, by Charise Mericle Harper
Reasons: sexually explicit and unsuited to age group

If this list doesn't give you enough check out; 50 Banned Books That Everyone Should Read

Just remember any book worth banning is worth reading!

Countdown

2009-08-29T00:20:00.003-04:00

Countdown To EQUALITY!

This is the time left until polls close here in Maine on November 3rd. Within hours after this countdown stops we will know if traditional Maine values of live and let live play out and we get to get married or if fear, lies and hate will keep us second class citizens in our own state.

hello again

2009-08-17T10:35:00.006-04:00

Just as the roads here in Maine are either; a.) being re-surfaced as shown in the AP photo at left of the I-295 Northbound project in Richmond or b.) being ignored even though they need serious work as the photo by Harlan Baker at right of the intersection of Congress and Mountfort Streets in Portland. It is time for me to resurface in this blog. I will do my best to stay on top of this and try not to be quite so whiny as before. Many folks have been asking me lately why I don't blog and are shocked to find that I in fact have TWO blogs this and the more risque. All of the folks that have been asking are readers of my sweetie's over at Weldable Cookies where both are linked in her blog roll but they either didn't realize they were mine or they didn't read because there are never any new updates so here is to you all!

As far as my life and health go I am still unemployed although my back and headaches are mostly in check thus further leads me to believe that a.) I am indeed disabled because work exacerbates these issues or b.) I need to find a sugar-momma to make myself and my sweetie kept women. Direct deposits into my PayPal account are warmly welcomed LOL!!!

The sun has returned to Maine we had like 8 weeks of rain, it is now mid August and too hot, hazy and humid to do anything. So it does present the perfect opportunity for me to resurface here in the blogosphere, I'm baaaack!

Waaaa!

2008-12-20T09:24:00.002-05:00

I am sick of being sick!!! I feel like Zeus when he has a headache so bad that he splits his head open only to have his daughter Athena pop out of his skull.

I have had a headache pretty much non-stop for a week and a half. It was the one I had in my last post. And it is still going on today. Went to the ER last night the drugs that normally kick my migraines asses only sorta helped. Now I wake-up this morning and guess what..."I"M BAAAACCKKK!" screams my head. I am convinced that I have the brain tumor to end it all. However I can not be that lucky, instead I must suffer and whine and sleep.

Wishing me luck

2008-12-12T10:06:00.003-05:00

I missed another day of work on Wednesday(migraine) and my boss was less than impressed. I was nervous going in on Thursday because I was pretty sure I would be canned. I wasn't thank-goodness but I do get laid-off a week from today we all do as the store closes every year for a period of time around xmas. This time it is for SIX weeks. D is wondering if he is holding on to me until then but won't call me back in. Me too, that is a real possibility and I would not blame him at all.

My back is non-stop pain an unrelenting crushing weight in the middle of my lower back. I can't handle working on my feet anymore. Bending, twisting and lifting are all chores that I have to stop and think about before doing.

I have thus decided to start the tedious task of applying for disability. Keep me in your thoughts and send good energies my way that it doesn't take forever.

sinners and saints

2008-11-30T23:36:00.000-05:00

So this past month my wonderful girlfriend D. over at Weldable Cookies has been doing this NaBloPoMo thing of posting everyday for 30 days. She being her wonderfully brilliant self picked the wonderful topic of the 7 deadly sins and the 7 virtues. Well of course in reading all of these posts she has started me to thinking. I know I know this is not usually a good thing, but when she writes that happens to people.

Well anyways I have been contemplating my level of sin (which I really don't believe in as I consider myself a non-practicing Wiccan) where do I fit into all of these categories and what does it all mean? Well here is my results from a quiz I took;

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Very High
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	Very Low

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

Very interesting that the one my beloved paid the least attention to is where I rank highest... I know I am pretty lazy sometimes and pray that at some point in this lifetime I will catch a damned break, and stop living as a member of the working poor. I know these things are a large part of my being, but a SLOTH?!

I was also surprised that my wrath was not down there with my pride, for while it is true that I have very low self-worth I don't feel like my anger is an issue. I am not a vengeful person, hell I am nearly opposed to the death penalty. I do often wonder why we kill people who kill people to show that killing people is wrong? In that light Gandhi said it best with "An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind."

In D's postings she counted out the days and figured out how to save every one's favorite and the most fun of the sins for today the last post of the 30 days. So today being the 30th of November and all the sin was...that's right LUST and guess what...nothing... she suffered a major case of writer's block. She was all set to make it a really fun and exciting post and it fizzled.

I (at least according to the above ranking) am more envious then lustful. Say WHAT?!??!!! I consider myself to be a very sexual being, how could I possibly rank so low? Could it be because I am not the sly cat I was when D. and I got together nearly six years ago. Has she domesticated this old tom? I was a self-labeled, (and proud) U-Haul lesbian! Now I have medium lust levels?

Goddess please keep us from becoming a Pepper Schwartz statistic, PLEASE!

I don't think it is a real risk but I am just preempting a warning sign.

Well it is after 1am I guess I had better put my slothing butt to bed so I can work tomorrow.

Pain and Suffering

2008-11-21T09:40:00.000-05:00

I feel as though I have been trampled. I hurt today all the from my spine to my belly button on my left side and a large section of my back is screaming on the right. I am home from work again. Today I am worried about it, my boss sounded mad for the first time. I think he is getting tired of my bullshit. It is not bullshit of course it is VERY real. I don't know what the hell to do anymore. Anybody got any multi-million dollar secret that they are hiding. Even a million would be great. I don't play the lottery, I don't go to Hollywood Slots. I am willing to take anyone's advice though.

post-election ramblings

2008-11-07T22:48:00.000-05:00

So...here we are four days since my last post and three since the United States of America expanded the American Dream of millions by electing Barack Obama the next president of our nation. I have not yet posted about this because I have been in mild shock. I think that I am coming out of it now and realizing that it is for real. Mind you it is very much what I wanted to have happen, America needs this change. However much I wanted it, and my friends wanted it the nation had to want it. I have heard it referred to as being similar to the feeling many had in Red Sox Nation when after the 84 year drought we got to hear the words "and the Boston Red Sox are World Champions!!" (Philly fans congrats on your recent change to a winning team!!) However this is on such a grander scale, a scale that we as a people had an influence on. Today I am writing in red and blue and mostly am proud to be an American. While I am not proud of some of my fellow Americans for the racist crap that has happened since the election (black cardboard effigies hanging from telephone lines here on MDI, black church burned in Mass., and cross burnings in Newark, NJ to name a few) I am proud of the many of us that voted for the best candidate instead of the "right" colored candidate.

I am however disappointed that in several states "my people" that is to say the gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans* communities were knocked back down several rungs on the ladder of justice and equality. In EVERY state where there was a measure to ban same-sex marriages or same-sex adoption those bans won. I guess that when it is said that you can't have it all they mean it.

Here in Maine I think that we took Obama's message of change to heart and elected several young people to our state legislature. 6 new folks and 2 re-elected from eastern and northern Maine are all in their 20's. Maybe they ran the better campaigns or maybe we are looking for fresh life in Augusta, I don't know. I do know that I worked on the campaign of one of these 20-somethings. Elsie is 25 and I think that she will do great in representing us in the House.

I am still a little in shock I guess. I am mostly glad that it is over. Now I have the time to be at home sick and miserable that I didn't have while working on the campaigns.

Here's to hoping that Barack was right in saying "A better day will come."

Have you voted yet??

2008-11-04T00:05:00.001-05:00

Have you voted yet??

2008-11-03T22:53:00.000-05:00

So today I am wearing my Obama/Biden '08 pin and my Electoral College t-shirt (from the Capital Steps) and was asked about 50 times if I had voted yet. I have indeed as I plan to be working for my favorite local candidate all day and may not get anywhere near my polling place. This year is the first year that Maine has participated in early voting without reason. We had absentee voting before but had to have a dammed good reason for not showing up on the assigned day.

The last guy to ask me this evening if I had voted yet said he couldn't find anyone who had not voted already. In working for the above mentioned candidate on Saturday we had the list of folks who had already voted in this district. The list for Bar Harbor alone was nearly 2 inches thick!! Now keep in mind we are a seasonal community there aren't but maybe 5000 year-round residents, 2 inches of names is A LOT of the community. I told the guy that I hope the poor poll workers remember to bring their cribbage boards 'cause it's gonna be a long boring day.

Within 24 hours we will have a good idea if the predictions are right. Within 36 hours it should be wrapped up. Then less than 77 1/2 days 'til then end of this error in American history.

Nobody tags me for memes so...I am tagging you

2008-10-19T20:08:00.000-04:00

Have you ever…
1. gone on a blind date? No
2. skipped school? Of course I was 18 and living on my own the last 3 1/2 months of high school
3. watched someone die? No, thank goodness I had left the room when my great-grandmother went
4. been on a plane? Nope and won't
5. been on the opposite side of your country? Not yet some day...
6. swam in the ocean? Used to do all the time when I was a teenager
7. had your booze taken away by the cops? No I have only been pulled over once for suspected OUI/DWI however I was completely sober and the designated driver, the intersection was crooked.
8. lettered in high school sport? I didn't play sports in high school, I did manage the softball team and almost got a letter for that but I missed the last 3 games of the season and that disqualified me.
9. cried yourself to sleep? On too many occasions
10. played cops and robbers? Not that I can recall
11. sung karaoke? yes a few times
12. paid for a meal with coins only? I have, I HATE it when people do it to me though so I try not to do it unless I have too.
13. done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? I'm am sure I have but I can't think of anything right now.
14. cheated on an exam? I think I cheated on EVERY exam we took in French I but I didn't cheat in French II
15. made prank phone calls? a couple of times when I was a teenager
16. laughed until some sort of beverage came out of your nose? Soda, milk, water and coffee have all found their way out of my nose.
17. caught a snowflake on your tongue? I have only lived in Maine and Minnesota what do you think?
18. written a letter to Santa Claus? yes every year until I was 10 and my step mother informed all of us (my brother 7, and sister 4) that there was no Santa, no tooth fairy, no Easter bunny.
19. watched the sunrise with someone you care about? Cadillac Mountain is the first place in America the sun hits in the morning, Dawn and I have gone up there several times it is only a few miles from our house.
20. been kissed under the mistletoe? Not yet that I count anyways
21. ever been arrested? once
22. gone ice skating? I used to when I was young I can't even stand-up on them anymore.
23. been skinny dipping outdoors? no
24. had a nickname? my childhood nickname was Punky as in Brewster, as an adult I have been dumbed Smurf and Munchkin (I am just 5' tall)
25. been on TV? Yes Mr. Rodgers, and the news at political rallies.

Read a Banned Book or two this week

2008-09-29T21:45:00.000-04:00

This week is Banned Books week, September 27-October 4 this from the American Library Association-
Banned Books Week: Celebrating the Freedom to Read is observed during the last week of September each year. Observed since 1982, this annual ALA event reminds Americans not to take this precious democratic freedom for granted. This year, 2008, marks BBW's 27th anniversary (September 27 through October 4).

I feel that it is VERY important this year especially after all the ruckus that has gone on about Sarah Palin and her interest in banning books from the Wasilla library. Here is a list of the most challenged books of 2007;

The “10 Most Challenged Books of 2007” reflect a range of themes, and consist of the following titles:

1) “And Tango Makes Three,” by Justin Richardson/Peter Parnell
Reasons: Anti-Ethnic, Sexism, Homosexuality, Anti-Family, Religious Viewpoint, Unsuited to Age Group

2) The Chocolate War,” by Robert Cormier
Reasons: Sexually Explicit, Offensive Language, Violence

3) “Olive’s Ocean,” by Kevin Henkes
Reasons: Sexually Explicit and Offensive Language

4) “The Golden Compass,” by Philip Pullman
Reasons: Religious Viewpoint

5) “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn,” by Mark Twain
Reasons: Racism

6) “The Color Purple,” by Alice Walker
Reasons: Homosexuality, Sexually Explicit, Offensive Language,

7) "TTYL,” by Lauren Myracle
Reasons: Sexually Explicit, Offensive Language, Unsuited to Age Group

8) "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings,” by Maya Angelou
Reasons: Sexually Explicit

9) “It’s Perfectly Normal,” by Robie Harris
Reasons: Sex Education, Sexually Explicit

10) "The Perks of Being A Wallflower,” by Stephen Chbosky
Reasons: Homosexuality, Sexually Explicit, Offensive Language, Unsuited to Age Group

If the above titles don't give you enough options here are some more;

Top 100 Banned/Challenged Books in 2000-2007
1 Harry Potter series- J.K. Rowling
2 Alice series- Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
3 The Chocolate War- Robert Cormier
4 Of Mice and Men- John Steinbeck
5 I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings- Maya Angelou
6 Scary Stories- Alvin Schwartz
7 Fallen Angels- Walter Dean Myers
8 It’s Perfectly Normal- Robie Harris
9 And Tango Makes Three- Justin Richardson/Peter Parnell
10 Captain Underpants- Dav Pilkey
11 The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn- Mark Twain
12 The Bluest Eye- Toni Morrison
13 Forever- Judy Blume
14 The Color Purple- Alice Walker
15 The Perks of Being A Wallflower- Stephen Chbosky
16 Killing Mr. Griffin- Lois Duncan
17 Go Ask Alice- Anonymous
18 King and King- Linda de Haan
19 Catcher in the Rye- J.D. Salinger
20 Bridge to Terabithia- Katherine Paterson
21 The Giver- Lois Lowry
22 We All Fall Down- Robert Cormier
23 To Kill A Mockingbird- Harper Lee`
24 Beloved- Toni Morrison
25 The Face on the Milk Carton- Caroline Cooney
26 Snow Falling on Cedars- David Guterson
27 My Brother Sam Is Dead- James Lincoln Collier
28 In the Night Kitchen- Maurice Sendak
29 His Dark Materials series- Philip Pullman
30 Gossip Girl series- Cecily von Ziegesar
31 What My Mother Doesn’t Know- Sonya Sones
32 Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging- Louise Rennison
33 It’s So Amazing- Robie Harris
34 Arming America- Michael Bellasiles
35 Kaffir Boy- Mark Mathabane
36 Blubber- Judy Blume
37 Brave New World- Aldous Huxley
38 Athletic Shorts- Chris Crutcher
39 Bless Me, Ultima- Rudolfo Anaya
40 Life is Funny- E.R. Frank
41 Daughters of Eve- Lois Duncan
42 Crazy Lady Jane- Leslie Conly
43 The Great Gilly Hopkins- Katherine Paterson
44 You Hear Me- Betsy Franco
45 Slaughterhouse Five- Kurt Vonnegut
46 Whale Talk- Chris Crutcher
47 The Adventures of Super Diaper Baby- Dav Pilkey
48 The Facts Speak for Themselves- Brock Cole
49 The Terrorist- Caroline Cooney
50 Mick Harte Was Here- Barbara Park
51 Summer of My German Soldier- Bette Green
52 The Upstairs Room- Johanna Reiss
53 When Dad Killed Mom- Julius Lester
54 Blood and Chocolate- Annette Curtis Klause
55 The Fighting Ground- Avi
56 The Things They Carried- Tim O'Brien
57 Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry- Mildred Taylor
58 Fat Kid Rules the World- K.L. Going
59 The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big, Round Things- Carolyn Mackler
60 A Time To Kill- John Grisham
61 Rainbow Boys- Alex Sanchez
62 Olive’s Ocean- Kevin Henkes
63 One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest- Ken Kesey
64 A Day No Pigs Would Die- Robert Newton Peck
65 Speak Laurie- Halse Anderson
66 Always Running- Luis Rodriguez
67 Black Boy- Richard Wright
68 Julie of the Wolves- Jean Craighead George
69 Deal With It!- Esther Drill
70 Detour for Emmy- Marilyn Reynolds
71 Draw Me A Star- Eric Carle
72 Fahrenheit 451- Ray Bradbury
73 Harris and Me- Gary Paulsen
74 Junie B. Jones series- Barbara Park
75 So Far From the Bamboo Grove- Yoko Watkins
76 Song of Solomon- Toni Morrison
77 Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes- Chris Crutcher
78 What’s Happening to My Body Book- Lynda Madaras
79 The Boy Who Lost His Face- Louis Sachar
80 The Lovely Bones- Alice Sebold
81 Anastasia Again!- Lois Lowry
82 Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret- Judy Blume
83 Bumps In the Night- Harry Allard
84 Goosebumps series- R.L. Stine
85 Shade’s Children- Garth Nix
86 Cut- Patricia McCormick
87 Grendel- John Gardner
88 The House of Spirits- Isabel Allende
89 I Saw Esau- Iona Opte
90 Ironman- Chris Crutcher
91 The Stupids series- Harry Allard
92 Taming the Star Runner- S.E. Hinton
93 Then Again, Maybe I Won’t- Judy Blume
94 Tiger Eyes- Judy Blume
95 Like Water for Chocolate- Laura Esquivel
96 Nathan’s Run- John Gilstrap
97 Pinkerton, Behave!- Steven Kellog
98 Freaky Friday- Mary Rodgers
99 Halloween ABC- Eve Merriam
100 Heather Has Two Mommies- Leslea Newman

Out of 3,869 challenges reported to or recorded by the Office for Intellectual Freedom, as compiled by the Office for Intellectual Freedom, American Library Association. The ALA Office for Intellectual Freedom does not claim comprehensiveness in recording challenges. Research suggests that for each challenge reported there are as many as four or five which go unreported.

Another missed day of work

2008-09-25T20:49:00.000-04:00

So here it is a day and a week since my last post and yesterday I awoke with a migraine like someone had driven a railroad spike though my left temple and was piercing my right temple with it. I couldn't see straight it was very difficult to focus on the phone to see the numbers to dial but I knew I had to call out. Apparently I was not the only one out yesterday, there seems to be a nasty head cold going around, and everyone else has it. I have been told that I have to be there tomorrow because I am it. One woman is on vacation and the other who works nights has this damned cold, so I think I am working with the boss or his son tomorrow.

Today I am exhausted and in lots and lots of pain. We bought a new bed this spring and it was wonderful at first but the pillow top has died and I could not get comfortable last night and my back was screaming all night and all day today. I barely did any real work tonight but that means I need to make up for it tomorrow.

I have worked there for a little over a month and have called out 3 or 4 times that is unreliable in my book. I just don't know what to do anymore I need to find some ambition to exercise more so I can be ready to have surgery this winter while the store is closed, so I don't miss all the recuperation time. I just don't have any motivation, or gumption to do anything. Not even to finish this post in one sitting as it is now the 29th and I am just getting back to it.

So I still haven't gotten any real sleep my back is in constant pain. I am working an extra day this week cause one of the women is on vacation and another is out with the hand, foot and mouth virus.
However, I still had my Sunday off yesterday to spend watching football. I am leading in my own little bragging-rights pool and I just found that I am ranked 1st out of 217 in the WVII channel 7 Bangor area pool, 1,317 out of 122,987 nationally, which I think is AWESOME.

medically unreliable = disabled??

2008-09-17T22:17:00.000-04:00

As I have stated before I suffer from a spinal issue called Spondylolisthesis I also suffer from frequent Migraine headaches. Oftentimes I am unable to report for work or if I can go to work I am not at my full capacity and not able to function to preform all of my duties. It was suggested (by a medical provider) that my unreliability may make it difficult to stay gainfully employed and have I considered applying for SSDI? This was last week that she suggested this and now I can't stop thinking about it. I am afraid to become a "welfare case" again, I grew-up that way and don't want to go back to that life.

However she has a good point, if I were my employer I would not keep me on staff because you just never know when I am going to call out or show up unable to pull my weight. So I am torn, I don't know what to do. Part of the reason I am so up in the air on this is that, I do know that at some point in the not to distant future I am going to have to have an operation for by back that will lay me up for anywhere from 6 weeks to 6 months!! How do I survive during that time?

Here are some MRI images the left is mine and the right is a normal spine. Note the L5 S1 area (which I have marked) see the difference between the two??

On mine the L5 juts to the left on the normal it is in a nice line. Also the form is badly compromised on mine, those two vertabra are totally different shapes than the ones above them or in the normal image.

On being a New England fan

2008-09-14T12:04:00.000-04:00

I am a New England fan I like the Red Sox, the Celtics and the Bruins but the Patriots are my favorite. They are a great team made up of wonderful men and Bob Kraft has been a simply amazing leader. The players while many of them could be "Super Stars" are not. Even the boisterous and often times annoying Randy Moss seems to have grown-up, matured and found a home in the Red, White and Blue (and silver). Hell he is even the receivers captain this year!

Now having said that I am a New England fan I know heartbreak I have seen our teams clench defeat from the jaws of victory way too often. I lived in the midwest for a short team and overheard someone in the electronics department of Wal*Mart describe a ball falling between two helpless outfielders as a "Red Sox moment" I looked at the screen they were gathered in front of and found that the Sox weren't even one of the teams playing!!

But suddenly the Pats have won 3 Super Bowls, the Red Sox have 2 World Series titles, even the Celtics are World Champions! The Bruins well they will get back to being great I am sure, they still are the 2nd greatest NHL franchise in the USA as far as the number of Stanley Cups won (5 for those of you keeping track the Detroit Red Wings have 11, the Montreal Canadians are the best overall with 24 one of which is pre-NHL).

So anyways last Monday everyone was sure that Tom Brady's injury is going to hurt the team, I say that they are a team and they will play as a team. They are the Patriots with Tom Brady, not the other way around. Yes he will not be on the field in uniform and playing but I bet he will be on the sidelines calling plays and mentoring the team the same as always. It is now kickoff of the 1o'clock games and we will see what happens.

Note the "old school" Pat Patriot at the top of this post and please sign the petition to restore it as the official emblem.

What an amazing race...

2008-09-12T21:20:00.001-04:00

This whole campaign has been interesting, to say the least. I have changed my own opinions and choices several times. When there were like 90 people trying to get the Democratic nod, I liked Kucinich, and Edwards and sort-of Richardson (sort-of until I saw the LOGO network forum thing and he said he believed ones sexuality to be a choice). All of these guys fell from the pecking list one by one.

There was also this other guy on my radar, this senator from Illinois, Barack Obama, an African-American, he seemed really cool and impressive but will America elect a black man? Will his running increase Hillary's support? I don't want Bill anywhere near the top again. Don't get me wrong he did some great things when he was in office but he did some pretty nasty stuff too. (and I am not at all talking about Miss Monica.)

So the race came down to a woman and a black man, and we all know that now it is just Barack Obama left. I have had a Obama for ME! bumper sticker on my truck since March. I wear an Obama for ME! t-shirt with pride. I believe that he is the best chance that this nation has to start to did out of this hole that the Bush/Cheney clan has thrown us into. I am not a christian by any means but I do know my bible stories and I feel like Daniel being thrown to the lions.

I mentioned my bumper sticker, I also have one for Elsie Flemings for state representative. One to re-elect Dennis Damon to the state senate, and one for Tom Allen for US senate. There are also a Boston Red Sox "B" and the old New England Patriots logo, and a magnet that reads "Don't shop, ADOPT" with paw prints on it. It is an American democrat's truck trough and through. I feel we NEED the democrats to take control EVERYWHERE that they are running. I drive Elsie around once a week so she can canvas door to door in the community and get to know the independents and republicans and try to win their votes too.

I work in a small "mom and pop" shop and we sell newspapers and so there is always something about the election on the front page. The majority of folks are supporting Obama there are only three that I can think of that have openly expressed support for McCain. I am still in awe to even hope that this rings true across the nation, and that we don't have another Bush vs. Gore bullshit outcome.

So here it is people; I ask you to please, please, no I implore you to do your democratic duty and VOTE on November 4th. Not registered to vote?? Not an issue simply go to http://voteforchange.com and register there. Then spend sometime and really think about where this nation is right now, we need a change in Washington and that change is Barack Obama.

Happy, happy happy, joy, joy, joy!!!

2008-08-25T09:44:00.001-04:00

Went to the in-laws in Massachusetts for the weekend. This is not as bad as some may think I get along well with the woman and she is my sweetie's aunt so that makes it a little easier I think. But it was a weekend in a double bed versus our queen that is too soft for my aching back. However the worst part is without my little Quinn snuggled in at feet she has to stay with a sitter for now when we go down there due to her uncanny ability to leap over or climb baby gates and accident on the cherished silk rug from Morocco on the last visit. I missed her so much she is such a little snuggle bug.

Quinn loves her sitter and her sitter adores her, she is of course a perfect angel for her no accidents, no garbage can adventures, no eating stuff she's not supposed to so she yurks on the carpet, no getting in and out of bed at night, none of the stuff that she does that make the aunt-in-law nervous. She even goes to work with the sitter which is where we picked her up last night.

We arrived and she was lying there in her bed good as gold but when she saw us she turned into an animated water worm (those toys that you can't keep a hold of). She was bouncing and twisting and panting and licking all at once. Just as happy to see her Mommies as her mommies were to see her. She is sooo cute and so completely your baby dog.

So we are all at home having slept in our own bed everything was great until 4am when the cat decided to climb my face en route to the headboard so he could look out the window and scratched across my nose and under my right eye I am a damned pretty sight.

Now it is time for us to go back to work and neither one of us is ready for it we are both exhausted the dog doesn't want to let us out of her sight. We all need a day of vacation recovery I could have and I guess should have taken another day but you know about coulda, shouldas, so I must get ready now and head off aching eye and tired body, but at least I am home and will come home tonight to my house, my family, and my bed.

Wait, This Makes Me A Slacker Doesn't It

2008-08-05T21:54:00.000-04:00

We all know how I am not all that great at posting on a REGULAR basis. We also all know that when we have not posted for a couple of days well then we become a "slacker" according to some. Well here it is folks this is the straight poop:

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
slack·er [slak-er] –noun
1. a person who evades his or her duty or work; shirker.

2. a person who evades military service.

3. an esp. educated young person who is anti-materialistic, purposeless, apathetic, and usually works in a dead-end job.

[Origin: 1790–1800; slack¹ + -er¹; def. 3 popularized by the film Slackers (1991)]
—Synonyms 1. malingerer, dodger, laggard.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

So, I guess if having and posting to your blog is your duty or work then yes in deed I am guilty as charged. However after reading definition number three I would say that there are a lot of people in this world who qualify. I again being one of them, hell I might as well admit to being guilty of number two as well. I scored fantastically on my ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery), my junior year of high school, (they were required.) I had the Marines, the Army and the Coast Guard recruiters after me the day our scores came in, I came out to the Marine, (this is the first time I have EVER told that to anyone else) and made excuses to the other two of why I couldn't possible join up. So yes, I do believe THAT I AM OFFICAILLY A SLACKER:O

I know it's good for me, BUT...

2008-08-02T18:08:00.000-04:00

Spondylolisthesis is a condition in which one bone in your back (vertebra) slides forward over the bone below it. It most often occurs in the lower spine. In some cases, this may lead to your spinal cord or nerve roots being squeezed. This can cause back pain and numbness or weakness in your legs. In rare cases, it can also lead to losing control over your bladder or bowels. - Web M.D.

And I my friends have it, and it is no fun. Luckily I am not a rare case I still have control over my private matters but, my spinal cord and nerve roots are most definitely being squeezed, pinched or in my mind MANGLED.

There are days when there is so much stabbing shooting pain in my right leg that I just want to chop it off. It is often excruciating to take a shower or do dishes, why this two things in particular are so bad I have no idea. I have had a series of steroidal injections in my lower back and they help for a little while but not much, and not like they are supposed to.

I have now been told that I am most likely going to have to have spinal fusion surgery which at best is a 6 hour procedure. To prepare for said surgery I need to exercise and lose a lot of weight. One of the easiest ways to do this is by walking so my dearest decided today to go for a walk to see the local waterfall after the rains. Also to spend some good time together not working. I thought it was a wonderful idea. So we grabbed the little dog and some water and set off. What she failed to tell me was that it was at least a 3 mile walk. I am now one seriously sore girl. However the waterfall was spectacular! Here is a shot of Quinn and I enjoying the view from one of Mr. Rockefeller's bridges.

Weather woes

2008-08-01T11:03:00.000-04:00

Well phooey! It looks as though it is going to clear after all and my sweetheart is going to make us go to work. Rats, I was just looking at the dog curled up in her bed and the cat snoozing at Dawn's feet and I was thinking that it would be a wonderful day to use one of those free movie on demand coupons we got from Time Warner. Curled up together under an afghan with a bowl of popcorn and just hide from the wet and damp.

I still am lacking any type of motivation and the wonderful homemade corned beef hash that she made me for breakfast is now a solid lump in my stomach. I may just go hide under the bed for the day anyways. Today is Friday but somehow feels to me like a Monday and I don't like it. Maybe I'll just go to bed with a book I have been meaning to read the sequel to my favorite childrens book of last year. That may be just the thing to lighten my mood. For any of you who enjoy a good childrens book I HIGHLY recommend checking this one out it was great. I may just re-read the first one to refresh my memory, then read the second. Have a dry and good day.

Bleah, buh humbug and humph!!!

2008-07-24T22:05:00.000-04:00

Well, my dear other half took a peak over here to my blog and saw that I had not posted anything in two days looked across the table and said "Slacker!" I haven't posted 'cause I've nothing to post about. So I hit the wonderous Google button found some good quotes, copy and pasted them them added a little comment as to why it pertains to me at this point in time, it's not much but at least she can't say I'm slackin'.

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours. - Harry S. Truman

Depression is the inability to construct a future. - Rollo May

It seems to me that these two go hand and hand as of late. I lost my job two weeks ago and I seem COMPLETELY unable to do a damned thing with myself since.

Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression. - Dodie Smith

I was the Sherpa for the Big Gay Weekend does that count as a noble deed? Anyone got a tub I can move into? We have only had shower stalls for the past 4 years, and while I maybe short even I am not THAT short.

The old grey donkey, Eeyore stood by himself in a thistly corner of the Forest, his front feet well apart, his head on one side, and thought about things. Sometimes he thought sadly to himself, "Why?" and sometimes he thought, "Wherefore?" and sometimes he thought, "Inasmuch as which?" and sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about. - A. A. Milne, From the book Winnie the Pooh

Most of the time I wonder why? Then I forget and I wonder why, what?

My depression is the most faithful mistress I have known -- no wonder, then, that I return the love. - Soren Kierkegaard

'Nuff said.

My all time favorite depression quote, if that isn't an oxymoron in and of itself;

"Good morning, Eeyore," said Pooh.
"Good morning, Pooh Bear," said Eeyore gloomily. "If it is a good morning, which I doubt," said he.
"Why, what's the matter?"
"Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can't all, and some of us don't. That's all there is to it."
"Can't all what?" said Pooh, rubbing his nose.
"Gaiety. Song-and-dance. Here we go round the mulberry bush." - A. A. Milne from the book Winnie the Pooh

I believe that Good Morning is perhaps the worst phrase in the entire English language. In my world there is no such thing!!

Just for Ms. Huntress

2008-07-22T10:20:00.000-04:00

ATTENTION READERS OF THE SLANT: This butch girl can cook too, yup it's true...most of us can. I am about to publish special for you courtesy of Better Homes and Gardens a recipe that impresses even Ms. Dawn the show-off at Weldable Cookies.

Beef Stroganoff
prep time 20 minutes
cook time 10 minutes
servings 4

ingredients
12 ounces boneless beef sirlion steak (honestly I usually use top round much cheaper)
1 8 ounce container sour cream
2 tablespoons flour (you can borrow that from your neighbor)
2 teaspoons instant beef bouillon granules (1 cube + 1/2 cup boiling water water)
1/4 teaspoon pepper
2 cups sliced fresh mushrooms (I used canned it's quicker)
1/2 cup chopped onion (1 medium palm sized)
1 clove garlic, minced (1/2 tsp. from a jar)
2 tablespoons butter or margarine
2 cups hot cooked noodles (we prefer extra wide egg noodles)

Step 1
Partially freeze the meat for easier slicing. Trim the fat to avoid greasiness. Thinley slice meat against the grain into bite sized strips. (Check out this video for the general idea.)

Step 2
In a small bowl (reactive or not doesn't matter) stir together sour cream and flour. Stir in the bouillon mixture and pepper, set aside.

Step 3
cook pasta(I acctually always FORGET this VERY important step)

Step 4
While pasta is cooking. In a large skillet cook and stir the meat, mushrooms, onion, and garlic in hot butter over medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until desired donesness. Drain off any grease.
Drain pasta.

Step 5
Stir sour cream mixture into skillet. Cook and stir until thick and bubbly, cook and stir one minute more.

Step 6
Serve

we here in our house prefer more sauce on everything so I double the recipe and quadruple the stuff that goes in the bowl.

Good luck and in the words of Alton Brown "good eats"

BIG GAY WEEKEND

2008-07-21T10:04:00.000-04:00

Well, they came, they saw, we conquered! The Maine Gay Net Face to Face Weekend on MDI was this past weekend. Organized, coordinated and hosted by my wonderful Dawn and I, and it was a fabulous success! There wasn't quite the turnout that we had hoped for but still. Nearly 30 GLBTA folks descended on our tiny village for the opening ceremonies Friday night many of them, to meet for the very first time . Everyone seemed to really like each other and the evening went very smoothly. Then Saturday we gathered again for a cookout and more folks joined us I would say increasing our numbers to 40ish. We helped to fill the Otter Creek Hall that night for Miller and Wilson's Theater of Marvels. If you ever get a chance to see this show DO IT! It is great fun. Sunday there were 11 of us for breakfast at one of MDI's best eateries Cafe This Way. Where we enjoyed great food and company then said our goodbyes.

Dawn and I are still in recovery mode this morning enjoying a leisurely breakfast of Pannu Kakku she an older blog post of hers for an explanation here. Treating more like a Sunday morning we'll see what happens.

I saw her...wait where'd she go?

2008-07-17T21:10:00.000-04:00

OK so for the NOT meeting Rosie story.

So you know how there are these cruises called 'R Family Vacations aka the Rosie Cruises? Well there happens to be one going on right now and they are traveling the northeast NY to Saint John, New Brunswick to BAR HARBOR, MAINE!!! Rosie O'Donnell was in town today now normally we Maine folk don't give a rat's ass about all the who's who crap. I have waited on Ann Curry from the TODAY show, Susan Surandon and Tim Robbins, and I've met scads of authors. I really didn't care they are all just people, most of them have more money in their checkbooks at this very second then I will ever earn total in my lifetime but they are people just the same.

Rosie, though for some reason was different I REALLY, REALLY wanted to meet her. I waited and waited and waited with our adorable little dog Quinn but I didn't see her. I went and ran some errands and I get a call on my cell from someone that they just met her. AGGGGHHHH!!! So I drive around these crazy mobbed streets and I spot her on the sidewalk with a group of people, I turn around as fast as I can but, she vanishes poof! Rosie is NOWHERE to be seen for the rest of the day :(

I feel like Tweety Bird "I thoght I saw a Rosie. I DID! I DID see a Rosie" Only for me it wasn't a bad thing.

Woo Hoo and away we go!!

2008-07-17T20:23:00.000-04:00

Well ladies and gents I have decided to finally start my own blog instead of just posting to all of yours and livin' vicariously though my sweetie Dawn over there at Weldable Cookies. And speaking of my sweetie wouldn't you know that as soon as I started this she presents me with a HUGE pile of steaming mussels with drawn garlic infused butter for dinner. Well the rest of the post about NOT meeting Rosie O'Donnell will have to wait.