surrvival

I am in real desperate need of an angel(or several) right now. As many of you know my partner of nearly 8 years and I broke up a couple months ago. I reached out to local friends and family for a place to stay and found a great place to call home with a couple of 70-something lesbians, really great place on a lake with lots of love and support to heal. One of the ladies herniated a disc in her back and had to have surgery and could no longer climb the stairs to their second floor bedroom, thus needing the guest room on the first floor so they had to ask me to move out. So I packed nearly everything I own in my car and headed for my safe haven the place I always end-up when I don't know where else to turn, Portland, Maine.

I have a few friends on whose couches I am able to stay but I seek my own space, I have a need to be my on my own for this part of my healing. The problem lies in the fact that because of medical conditions I have not really worked in over a year. I have applied and been denied disability twice however as I lay here typing this my entire right leg is numb, all pins and needles from the pinched nerves in my back. Yesterday it was another of my ailments I awoke at 8am with a migraine headache that did not ease up until 4 pm, I spent most of that time asleep because the pain was too much to handle. Since moving to Portland 10 days ago I have had 2 trips to the ER and one to an emergency dental clinic, I am not doing well thus far.

I am scared to put myself out there to prospective employers because I have been fired from my last 3 jobs due to being unreliable due to my health. I have borrowed mooney from a friend to pay my car insurance and am borrowing money from another to have the tooth pulled that is causing so much pain.

What I need right now is love, support and if anyone can send a few dollars my way, I will forever be indebted and ever so grateful. Click the link for my paypal account.

Full Circle

I am realizing as we close in on a month single that I have come full circle over the last eight years. I am going to be going back to college hopefully moving back to Portland to do so. I am single again, I am back to owning nothing as far a furniture is concerned. There are a few other similarities that I won't get into here now.

Although where I started from and where I have ended up are a bit different I am not the same person I was 8 years ago. Today I have many different labels then I did then. Almost like I have grown into my own skin and I am more comfortable today being me then I was eight years ago, hell even eight months ago. I know that I am beautiful and worthy of love. For the first time in my life I can actually say that I love myself.

So maybe it is not so much a circle but a spiral where the lines don't meet, because I am not in the same place I was eight years ago, not at all.

Admiting, accepting, advancing

Okay so it is now day 11 in my newly single life. I still can't say as I like it all that much but I am a survivor and I will be okay. This week and a half has left a lot of room for thought, reflection, soul searching and yes even growth. Anyone familiar with any 12 step program knows that the first step is admitting that there is a problem that you are powerless over and that your life is unmanageable.

Well I am at that point, the problem is life as a whole and I am powerless over pretty much everything right now, my life is in shambles and was utterly unmanageable just days ago. I have come to the realization that while it is still in shambles I can manage it one day at a time don't ask me what my plans are for next week as at this point I can't look that far ahead without getting lost. The only thing I know for sure is that I am reapplying for college, it was something that I have been thinking about and toying with for awhile and I am just going to bite the bullet and do it.

Then there is the Serenity Prayer; God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. I am accepting that I can not change the things that have happened. The breakup is not going to be over and she isn't going to want me back. What I can change is how I look at it, and what my roll in the future will be. I can change my actions, thoughts and ideas for today and that is all.

I have come to realize that we had a lot of problems that I just chose to ignore. Thus causing them to build and escalate over time. I am really sorry that was the path took and if I had it to do all over again I would change that but I don't. I have realized that I often took Dawn for granted and that was not fair to her and was highly inappropriate. Dawn if you do happen to read this please know that I truly am very sorry. Dawn often said that she didn't always want to have to be the grown-up, I didn't get it. I have realized that while I am an adult I am not sure I know how to be a grown-up, well it is sink or swim time and I need to learn and FAST!!

For now I am living one day at a time and that is the very best I can do. I love her deeply and I know and am trying to let her go.

unwelcome changes

Life as I have known it for the last eight years is over. Most of you also read Dawn's stuff over at Weldable Cookies, so you probably already know that she broke up with me on Friday and I moved out on Saturday. This was completely unexpected, yes we have been having some rough times and nearly broke-up last month but we had been closer and more involved with each other in that last month then we probably had been all of the previous year. I really thought we were going to be okay, to me she was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

Now I don't have her, our life, our home, or our "fur kids". I was floundering before the break-up on what to do with life. I had just been denied disability again, and I had been pretty hopeful about this application and the physical that took place that I would be approved and have some money coming in, now I really don't know. I guess she was right a couple of months ago when she declared that I needed to go back to work whether I could handle it or not. For the next two months I have a place to be and no real expenses but I need to move on by St. Patrick's Day and without income that is going to be difficult.

Yesterday I had a wonderful day, went to a noontime al-anon meeting that was amazing, took a wonderful bubble bath with aroma therapy bubbles, went and saw some friends, my little sister took me out to dinner at my favorite restaurant(which was OUR favorite restaurant), went to an evening meeting and then stopped and picked up some Ben and Jerry's on the way back to the house.

Today I am miserable. I am so emotional I want to scream, cry and throw-up but none of those things will actually come out. I want to be angry that she has done this to me, that she gave up on us, and most of all that she has done it so nicely, no fighting, no screaming, no get out NOW, no I want all traces of you gone from my life. That is the type of break-up I am used to. I feel guilty that I let her down, that I didn't live up to her expectations and that I was so needy that I sucked away her soul. I want to hold and squeeze Quinn and make her make her happy little pig noises but leaving her hurts so bad that I am afraid to see her.

Last night I saw Dawn across a parking lot and the pain was amazing but at the same time the attraction was so intense like back before we got together when I thought she was way out of my league I wanted her so badly but never thought I could have her, now I know I can't have her anymore. I keep hoping that maybe somehow we will find our way through this and back together, it is obvious that she is hurting too read her latest post and you will see. However she does not see that as a possibility.

I looked up the 7 stages of grief because really that is what I am going through this is a death of our relationship of everything that we have built over the last nearly eight years. I am guessing that I am somewhere in the first 3 stages and that there is a lot more pain and suffering to go before I'm done.


Shock stage: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news.
Denial stage: Trying to avoid the inevitable.
Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.
Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out.
Depression stage: Final realization of the inevitable.
Testing stage: Seeking realistic solutions.
Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward.

well shoot

I was working on researching a great post and now it is 12:06AM. I missed the damned deadline. Dawn fell asleep on the couch woke up to go pee and then went to bed without posting so we are out of NaBloPoMo. I guess it is good 'cause we don't have to go hide behind the gym when the Aunt gets here for Thanksgiving. See she doesn't know we blog and we don't want her to. If you are a reader of Dawn's you will remember this from last year while we were at her house. I will still post the great post tomorrow but since I am late tonight I am not making an promises from here on out.

Good night all.

nothing

So tired today, haven't been able to sleep for a couple of nights. Still away from home and not sure what to write. Dawn is booting me as it is time for a mini- thanksgiving dinner.

video worm

I am cheating tonight I am away from home and so I am giving you my absolute favorite brain worm video. WARNING: you may not want to listen with children in the room. It is an adult themed song and you are going to find yourself humming it in the aisles of your local grocery store.

Friday Fill-in

Introducing a new aspect to my blog to help after NaBloPoMo ends I will hopefilly post once a week from now on...

And...here we go!


1. The last band I saw live was __The Indigo Girls__.

2. What I look forward to most on Thanksgiving is _sandwiches_.

3. My Christmas/holiday shopping is __not happening___.

4. Thoughts of __bills___ fill my head.

5. I wish I could wear __snow pants__.

6. Bagpipes __are awesome_.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _(intentionally left blank)____, tomorrow my plans include _travel_ and Sunday, I want to _EAT_(mini Thanksgiving)__!

where to next

so since I have been unemployed and unemployable a lot of people have asked me "What do you WANT to do?" I am a few months shy of 33 and I have no idea what I want to be when I grow-up. A few years ago I wanted to be a architectural model architect. Remember there was one of those prostate ads there was this HUGE coffee cup in a tiny city? The guy with the "growing problem" worked shrinking things. I wanted to do that, scenes for movies, and integrity models, you know building a skyscraper scale model to see how it holds up in a wind tunnel. Now I am not sure. I mean I have no idea what would make me happy. I would love to do something helping people as I am great in that capacity but I have no idea what exactly. I participated in a teleconference last night called "For Love & Money" it was very cool. There was a visualization piece where she took us to visit ourselves in our home 20 years from now. I could see a nice house and my grey haired self answer the door. I seemed happy but I had no idea how I got there. I just could not see what got me that house. I don't seem to have a fire at all. Hmmph oh well have an ancient video of a young (16) and still very black Boy Jackson and Roberta Flack.

Holiday wishes

So remember on the meme thing where I got tagged I said that all I want for the holidays is a Wii Fit?? Well I wrote to Santa and sent her a link to a pre-black Friday sale and used all of the best reasoning and of the hot words I could come up with. Well today I opened my email and there in my inbox was a return letter from Santa and we are getting a Wii for the holidays.

Not just the Wii but we are getting; the Nintendo Wii console with Wii Sports, Wii Balance Board with Wii Fit Plus, and $25 eGift Card - Value Bundle! We will use the gift card towards the balance of a second Wiimote and nunchuk as the console only comes with one of each.

The most amazing thing about this?? That Ms. Grumpypants (aka Dawn) wants it too! We have never owned a video game console in the nearly 8 years we have been together she has hated them. But she has played golf on the Wii of some friends and I think that is what sold her. Plus all of our friends who have the Fit swear that they feel better and are having fun getting in shape and loosing weight with it. I know that after just a couple of hours of playing the sports my arms hurt for a couple of days after, so I do believe that this will be a life changing gift.

Here is to a New Years Resolution we MIGHT be able to keep. Happier, Healthier more active us.

disapointment

with the heavens...

I am a self avowed weather geek. Astrology plays a good part in meteorology in my mind and so when I saw Leonid Meteor Shower 2009Biggest Meteor Shower of the Modern Age show up on my Facebook I was stoked! We caught the Perseids back in August and they were awesome.

I don't know maybe it was better because we were outside in shorts and t-shirts and with good company. Now it is November in Maine the mercury is below the freezing mark and there is a frost on the grass and the cars. Now I am a Mainer born and raised I can't yet trace back all the generations but we are tried and true, but I hate the cold. So I didn't want to stay out there as long.

Well take a look at this link I found on the Facebook page of the Leonids;
Geminids Meteor Shower 2009 Biggest Meteor Shower of the Modern Age (huh??? sounds familiar doesn't it??) here is what else it says about this show;

The Geminids are now considered by many astronomers to be the most consistent and active annual shower. The Geminids are known for producing up to 60 different colored meteors per hour during their peak. The peak of the shower is on December 13th and 14th.

Geminid Meteor Shower for the best view, One should face east and look between one half to one third of the way up in the sky.

The best time is to watch is generally 9 p.m. to 4 a.m. on the peak days.

Let's see if Santa can help with these ones, and that they are worth freezing my butt off for.

OMG!!! I got tagged- Lucky 7

So my blog is nearly 1½ years old and I have yet to be tagged for ANYTHING I am sooo excited that Jen is helping me out with this NaBloPoMo thing by tagging me and essentially giving me a gimme for today!!! Thanks Jen!

So here it is;

Rules:

1. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 random and or weird things about yourself.
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
4. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

here we go seven random or weird thing about moi;

1. I am ambidextrous and dyslexic which I am convinced are the reasons I can not type well or play a guitar.

2. I am the eldest of three children but yet the shortest at only 5'1"(on a good day)

3. I only got my drivers license just a few weeks before my 21st birthday and in the 11 years since I have never gotten a ticket (knocking on my desk here)

4. I have known I was "different" (read not straight) since about the age of 3

5. I have not completed college in fact I only have 1 year complete and I probably never will go back

6. All I want for Christmas/Solstice is a Wii Fit

7. I live in one of the most beautiful places on Earth. Acadia is amazing but I hate it here.

Now to tag 7 people well lets see this isn't completely random because they are all on my blogroll but here it is;

1. Leo- butch girlcat

2. FG- Freedomgirl

3. Sharon- The Queen's Blog

4. Fia-Properly Inappropriate

5. Jen- Mainuh? Yessuh!

6. DolphynGyrl- The Verbosery

7. and last but never ever least my beloved Dawn- Weldable Cookies

Desperation

Today I asked for monetary donations on Facebook. There were a bunch of motivating factors, one we both need new thermostats for our vehicles. While it was in the 60°s today and is in fact still 54° at nearly midnight it is November in Maine and it is going to get cold sooner rather than later.

Dawn's isn't that big of a deal as she drives a big old Ford F150 and can probably do it herself in the driveway and it is a $20 part. My thermostat is only about $15 dollars but it is in a very tricky place that our mechanic says will take at LEAST an hour to do. I also would like to fill the oil tank, so we don't have to think about it for a little while. I got notification that Unemployment overpaid me and now I owe them $262 dollars. Last but not least I want to move. I feel that we are sort of marooning ourselves living on this island. Like today I asked Dawn was it that we wanted to sleep in this morning that we didn't go to church or was it that we didn't want to drive 30+ miles one way? I feel that is our excuse most of the time everything is too far away.

It is also time fro me to try to look for work again. No I am not any better physically, emotionally I am a little better but we can't afford for me not to try. And I have to go off island to find work so it is time to give up our little cottage.

Ugg...NaBloPoMo may drive me mad

I signed up for this thing and now I am not so sure. I might throw in the towel early I know there are others who haven't made it this long but still. I have had some pretty lame-assed posts just to say I posted something today.

Right now I got nothing, my head is foggy with lots of numbers and town names swimming around as Dawn has me compiling data from 6 elections between 1995 and a week and a half ago that dealt with our civil rights as lesbians. I have tried to forget the one in 2000 where my partner at the time and I were talking to our neighbor and our landlord on the eve of the election and how we hoped that since we lived there they would support us and vote Yes on Question 6, which read;

Do you favor ratifying the action of the 119th Legislature whereby it passed an act extending to all citizens regardless of their sexual orientation the same basic rights to protection against discrimination now guaranteed to citizens on the basis of race, color, religion, sex or national origin in the areas of employment, housing, public accommodation and credit and where the act expressly states that nothing in the act confers legislative approval of, or special rights to, any person or group of persons?

They said, but I thought it was already the law and we explained this was to ratify and put the law into effect. The nodded said okay and we all went our ways into our apartments. Well the next morning we got up, went and cast our ballots then went to work. While working we had been asking customers how things were going with results and knew we had lost before the end of the shift. We arrived home after closing the restaurant fairly late and found an eviction notice on our door. This was 2000 and we were legally thrown out of our home for being gay and for trying to educate our landlord. We had no place to go, we ended up breaking up. I moved in with some friends and she moved back to Kentucky.

The next election was not until 2005 when we again voted on basic civil protections. Question 1 read;

Do you want to reject the new law that would protect people from discrimination in employment, housing, education, public accommodations and credit based on their sexual orientation?

Miracle of miracles THIS was our year the No vote prevailed and we were a step closer to being, full class human beings. Just 10 days ago we were reminded again that 53% of the voters who cast ballots in this off year election don't quite think we are there yet.

yesterday , all around the world a wonderful thing began

You might have noticed the new banner over there to the left or you might not have but I would like to draw your attention there now. This is the Charter for Compassion it was a wish of last years TED prize winner Karen Armstrong, yesterday after a year of planning and compiling of stories it was unveiled to the world!



"The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves. Compassion impels us to work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world and put another there, and to honour the inviolable sanctity of every single human being, treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity and respect.

It is also necessary in both public and private life to refrain consistently and empathically from inflicting pain. To act or speak violently out of spite, chauvinism, or self-interest, to impoverish, exploit or deny basic rights to anybody, and to incite hatred by denigrating others—even our enemies—is a denial of our common humanity. We acknowledge that we have failed to live compassionately and that some have even increased the sum of human misery in the name of religion.

We therefore call upon all men and women ~ to restore compassion to the centre of morality and religion ~ to return to the ancient principle that any interpretation of scripture that breeds violence, hatred or disdain is illegitimate ~ to ensure that youth are given accurate and respectful information about other traditions, religions and cultures ~ to encourage a positive appreciation of cultural and religious diversity ~ to cultivate an informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings—even those regarded as enemies.

We urgently need to make compassion a clear, luminous and dynamic force in our polarized world. Rooted in a principled determination to transcend selfishness, compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological and religious boundaries. Born of our deep interdependence, compassion is essential to human relationships and to a fulfilled humanity. It is the path to enlightenment, and indispensible to the creation of a just economy and a peaceful global community."

Please support and affirm the Charter by adding your name to the growing list of affirmers by visiting the website.

10563 have affirmed so far, including;

His Holiness the Dalai Lama
Her Majesty Queen Noor of Jordan- Chair, King Hussein Foundation
Paul Simon- Musician
Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Mpilo Tutu
Sir Ken Robinson- Author
Deepak Chopra- Author
Sheikh Ali Gomaa- Grand Mufti of Egypt
Professor Candido Mendes- Secretary General, Académie de la Latinité
Goldie Hawn- Actor
Dr. Abdul Sattar Edhi- Founder, Edhi Foundation
and ME!

Now I don't consider myself a religious person, but I do try to live ethically and I am spiritual. Above all though I believe in the Golden Rule, especially in light of the recent election. Treat others as you, yourself want to be treated. Why is that so hard for some to grasp. Won't you join me in this amazing call for compassion?

todays no stop song

Sorry all, but it has been in my head all day and now it is your turn;




Check out how he is ROCKING that mesh sweater!! OMG did we really think those were cool? And the dumbbells WOW! The sad thing is this song reached #2 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1989.

Here I will even included the lyrics for you.

Cash cold that's what I need
These bill collectors they ring my phone
They bother me when I'm not at home
Ain't go no time to be fooling round
Feet touch the floors and I get on down, you see

Chorus:
I want money lots and lots of money
I want the pie in the sky
I want money lots and lots of money
So don't be asking me why

I wanna be rich oh
I wanna be rich
I wanna be rich oh
I wanna be rich

For a little love peace and happiness

I want my cake wanna eat it too
I want the stars and the silver moon
I spend my money of lottery
My favorite number is 1 2 3, you see

Chorus

Every way rich
Love peace and happiness
I want all the things that lovers do
A pocketful of dreams come true
Everything you can not find
Want you by my side?

That keep you satisfied and rich
Here is what you gonna do
Say oh I say uh uh
Got to be baby
I just wanna be rich
I just wanna be, just wanna be
Cause baby

Chorus

Be rich I wanna be rich
I know what I mean baby
Everyday and every way
Play baby there is lots for everyone

Mom update

First I would like to thank both of you that now read my blog for the kind thoughts and well wishes, for her recovery and my sanity. She called last night and was up and walking during the day. Sitting in a chair and eating normally. The doctor who preformed her hysterectomy told heron the Friday that she saw her in the ICU she didn't have much hope of her making it. She then said that she was very proud of her and called her a trooper.

Mom asked if she was going to be able to leave at some point and the Dr. asked her well when do you think you will be ready to go home? Mom answered let's shoot for the end of the week see how things are at that point and then decide.

So she could be back at home by this weekend. She need to have a ramp built on their trailer and the home health care needs to be approved but the hospital social workers see no issue with that. So we will see.

Now the question becomes what do I do now? See I have been trying to distance myself from her for a few years now. I don't need the stress in my life that she inflicts with her emotional abuse. Hello she has never in my lifetime weighed less then 320 pounds, (though some of it is not her fault a diet of Mtn. Dew and Ring Dings don't help) she is always commenting not just on my size but plain out talks about how FAT I am! No I am not small, I NEVER have been there are NO small women in our gene-pool. But jeez the way the pot calls the kettle is absolutely asinine. She may have FINALLY come to terms that my being a big old dyke is NOT a phase after just 17 years! However she hates Dawn nearly as much as Dawn hates her. Her newly ex-husband and I can't stand each other, but he isn't going anywhere they did it for the money(don't ask, that is another post entirely).

So what do I do, now that she has had her brush with death and all of us were there she is going to want us all back in her life all of the time, and I am afraid.

bad day

Two days ago Dawn wrote about how grateful she was to have me. Today I am not sure that she is as grateful. I was pretty sure this morning that if I went to Fail Blog that there would be a picture of me in my tie-dyed flannel pajamas with EPIC FAIL stamped across my forehead.

To start things off I awoke at 5dark:thirty with a migraine. I got up took some meds, put my sleep mask/blindfold thing on to ward of the increasing daylight, and crawled back in bed. Dawn awoke a few hours later and got up I knew she had planned some quiet reflection time this morning so I figured it was safe for me to stay in bed so I did. When I did crawl out of bed at around 9 she was ready to begin her day. She asked if I had done something yesterday and I had not. When she asked why I told her that 1. I had asked her to do it and 2. the deadline was yesterday and by the time I had a chance to do it I would not have had a chance to turn it in.

Well, I am not even sure what happened after that but I know she was PISSED. She said I've got to go, stomped out of the house slamming the door without a kiss or anything. Then she peeled out backing out of her spot, peeled it again pulling forward from where she had backed and a THIRD time when she hit the gas to leave the the driveway. I was crying before the door slammed, I felt worse then shit.

So I look and a friend is on so I chat with her here is how that started;

10:58 AM me: hey

L: hey what's up?

10:59 AM me: I suck

L: oh dear.

11:00 AM me: I think I need to leave Dawn that she would be better off without me, she just peeled out of the yard

I don't know what to do

11:01 AM L: um.

me: I keep fucking up

R: sounds like you're frustrated and depressed.

me: she is soo mad at me

11:02 AM we have been fighting for two days every minute that we are together is spent screaming

L: gah!

what's going on?

L talked me off the ledge, I didn't pack my shit. I continued to sort through the bs with L until Dawn came home then I didn't want another reason for her to be upset so I got offline. During the chat I call the place and they say that it wasn't a deadline more a GUIDEline and that I have until just before thanksgiving to get it in.

By 1PM we were both leaving the house to run errands we had not screamed at each other and she apologized for losing her temper like that and being a grumpus head in general. I apologized that I had not done the thing that started it all this morning but that I really needed her help with it or I wouldn't have asked. We went our separate ways to do our separate tasks.

As I was coming home I nearly hit a big buck with a bum back leg. He was next door and came into our yard once he got out of my way. I saw him walk across the back yard, I ran to get a flashlight as I could no longer see him in the thicket. I went back out and could hear him but we couldn't find him, even with a cop and the landlord. Oh well we have some venison in the freezer already a friend's dad got his deer and she gave us some of the meat he had given her.

Tonight things are back to normal. I did the task I didn't think I could do, all by myself. I also did a couple loads of laundry and of dishes. All in all I am still not sure why she loves me so.

serene places

Okay so this blogging everyday is really a difficult task. I just am not as witty as I need to be to do this apparently. So I am going to give you a picture of one of my favorite spots. This is a tiny brook that runs under the Acadia National Park Loop Road. I sit on that little gravelly beach on the far side and cast my line. I cast to my left (the right side of the photo) and let it slowly float downstream and under the bridge. I am merely two feet away from the road with its cars, trucks and RV's from Connecticut, New York and Minnesota.

However none of them know that I am there. I am alone in my only little world, it is just one of the many wonders here in my backyard. Come visit us sometime.

Stolen Meme

Yes I stole it from Daily Meme's Sunday Steal and my friend Leo;

1. What is the color of your toothbrush? Purple & White

2. Name one person who made you smile today. My sweetheart

3. What were you doing at 8am this morning? sleeping/warding off a migraine (success!)

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? watching Monday Night Football and eating homemade sushi with my sweetie

5. What is your favorite candy bar? 100 Grand

6. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yes the LGBT bar I was a bouncer at was next door to one and our DJ was engaged to one of the ladies and I would go over and watch her dance then walk her to the bar after her performance.

7. What is the last thing you said aloud? Hey look at what I found on Daily Meme!

8. What is your favorite ice cream? Ben and Jerry's Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz which is sadly only available in Scoop Shops and the closest one of those to us is 100 miles away :(

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? tap water fresh from our well

10. Do you like your wallet? not really but it is functional

11. What was the last thing you ate? homemade sushi!

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? nope can't tell you the last time I bought new clothing

13. The last sporting event you watched? I am sort-of watching MNF over my shoulder

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?Act II movie theater butter

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?: my plan doesn't have texting

16. Ever go camping? ever?? Yes recently?? No been since July of '06

17. Do you take vitamins daily? No

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? No

19. Do you have a tan? still a bit of a farmer tan but that isn't saying much

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? I have Chinese more often but like pizza better

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? Only if it is served in a paper cup

22. What did your last text message say? see #15 above

23. What are you doing tomorrow? installing a deer fence (to keep deer from eating the woman's plants), a bit of household shopping

24. Favorite color? Blue or purple

25. Look to your left; what do you see? the cat taking a bath

26. What color is your watch? I haven't worn it in a couple weeks, maybe black?

27. What do you think of when you hear “Australia”? of a cute surfer girl I know...

28. Would you strip for money? doubt it

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Usually in so I can use the restroom too.

30. What is your favorite number? Not sure I have one

31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone? Toby

32. Any plans today? Today??? It is 11:39PM I MIGHT make it to bed before tomorrow.

33. In how many states have you lived? Two

34. Biggest annoyance right now? having lost my right to marry in my home state.

35. Last song listened to? does the MNF theme count? Probably not, so it was With a Little Help From My Friends

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? yes in about 3 seconds

37. Do you have a maid service clean your house? Um, I WISH!!

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? Reebok sneakers (the same ones the NFL refs wear) very comfy :)

39. Are you jealous of anyone? not at the moment

40. Is anyone jealous of you? who cares

41. Do you love anyone? but of course

42. Do any of your friends have children? Many of them do, yes

43. What do you usually do during the day? FACEBOOK!!!

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? Not anyone I have ever met (Sarah, Ann, & Rush come to mind though)

45. Do you use the word hello daily? I don't think I do I am a "Hey" person

46. What color is your car? Red

47. What size wedding ring do you wear? I am not allowed to marry so I don't have a wedding ring, my commitment/promise band is a 9 I think.

48. Are you thinking about someone right now? Not really

49. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Nope

50. How did you get your worst scar? surgery, to remove a cyst on my left wrist I don't scar easily so incidental ones have gone away.