medically unreliable = disabled??

As I have stated before I suffer from a spinal issue called Spondylolisthesis I also suffer from frequent Migraine headaches. Oftentimes I am unable to report for work or if I can go to work I am not at my full capacity and not able to function to preform all of my duties. It was suggested (by a medical provider) that my unreliability may make it difficult to stay gainfully employed and have I considered applying for SSDI? This was last week that she suggested this and now I can't stop thinking about it. I am afraid to become a "welfare case" again, I grew-up that way and don't want to go back to that life.

However she has a good point, if I were my employer I would not keep me on staff because you just never know when I am going to call out or show up unable to pull my weight. So I am torn, I don't know what to do. Part of the reason I am so up in the air on this is that, I do know that at some point in the not to distant future I am going to have to have an operation for by back that will lay me up for anywhere from 6 weeks to 6 months!! How do I survive during that time?

Here are some MRI images the left is mine and the right is a normal spine. Note the L5 S1 area (which I have marked) see the difference between the two??

On mine the L5 juts to the left on the normal it is in a nice line. Also the form is badly compromised on mine, those two vertabra are totally different shapes than the ones above them or in the normal image.

On being a New England fan

I am a New England fan I like the Red Sox, the Celtics and the Bruins but the Patriots are my favorite. They are a great team made up of wonderful men and Bob Kraft has been a simply amazing leader. The players while many of them could be "Super Stars" are not. Even the boisterous and often times annoying Randy Moss seems to have grown-up, matured and found a home in the Red, White and Blue (and silver). Hell he is even the receivers captain this year!

Now having said that I am a New England fan I know heartbreak I have seen our teams clench defeat from the jaws of victory way too often. I lived in the midwest for a short team and overheard someone in the electronics department of Wal*Mart describe a ball falling between two helpless outfielders as a "Red Sox moment" I looked at the screen they were gathered in front of and found that the Sox weren't even one of the teams playing!!

But suddenly the Pats have won 3 Super Bowls, the Red Sox have 2 World Series titles, even the Celtics are World Champions! The Bruins well they will get back to being great I am sure, they still are the 2nd greatest NHL franchise in the USA as far as the number of Stanley Cups won (5 for those of you keeping track the Detroit Red Wings have 11, the Montreal Canadians are the best overall with 24 one of which is pre-NHL).

So anyways last Monday everyone was sure that Tom Brady's injury is going to hurt the team, I say that they are a team and they will play as a team. They are the Patriots with Tom Brady, not the other way around. Yes he will not be on the field in uniform and playing but I bet he will be on the sidelines calling plays and mentoring the team the same as always. It is now kickoff of the 1o'clock games and we will see what happens.

Note the "old school" Pat Patriot at the top of this post and please sign the petition to restore it as the official emblem.

What an amazing race...

This whole campaign has been interesting, to say the least. I have changed my own opinions and choices several times. When there were like 90 people trying to get the Democratic nod, I liked Kucinich, and Edwards and sort-of Richardson (sort-of until I saw the LOGO network forum thing and he said he believed ones sexuality to be a choice). All of these guys fell from the pecking list one by one.

There was also this other guy on my radar, this senator from Illinois, Barack Obama, an African-American, he seemed really cool and impressive but will America elect a black man? Will his running increase Hillary's support? I don't want Bill anywhere near the top again. Don't get me wrong he did some great things when he was in office but he did some pretty nasty stuff too. (and I am not at all talking about Miss Monica.)

So the race came down to a woman and a black man, and we all know that now it is just Barack Obama left. I have had a Obama for ME! bumper sticker on my truck since March. I wear an Obama for ME! t-shirt with pride. I believe that he is the best chance that this nation has to start to did out of this hole that the Bush/Cheney clan has thrown us into. I am not a christian by any means but I do know my bible stories and I feel like Daniel being thrown to the lions.

I mentioned my bumper sticker, I also have one for Elsie Flemings for state representative. One to re-elect Dennis Damon to the state senate, and one for Tom Allen for US senate. There are also a Boston Red Sox "B" and the old New England Patriots logo, and a magnet that reads "Don't shop, ADOPT" with paw prints on it. It is an American democrat's truck trough and through. I feel we NEED the democrats to take control EVERYWHERE that they are running. I drive Elsie around once a week so she can canvas door to door in the community and get to know the independents and republicans and try to win their votes too.

I work in a small "mom and pop" shop and we sell newspapers and so there is always something about the election on the front page. The majority of folks are supporting Obama there are only three that I can think of that have openly expressed support for McCain. I am still in awe to even hope that this rings true across the nation, and that we don't have another Bush vs. Gore bullshit outcome.

So here it is people; I ask you to please, please, no I implore you to do your democratic duty and VOTE on November 4th. Not registered to vote?? Not an issue simply go to http://voteforchange.com and register there. Then spend sometime and really think about where this nation is right now, we need a change in Washington and that change is Barack Obama.

Happy, happy happy, joy, joy, joy!!!

Went to the in-laws in Massachusetts for the weekend. This is not as bad as some may think I get along well with the woman and she is my sweetie's aunt so that makes it a little easier I think. But it was a weekend in a double bed versus our queen that is too soft for my aching back. However the worst part is without my little Quinn snuggled in at feet she has to stay with a sitter for now when we go down there due to her uncanny ability to leap over or climb baby gates and accident on the cherished silk rug from Morocco on the last visit. I missed her so much she is such a little snuggle bug.

Quinn loves her sitter and her sitter adores her, she is of course a perfect angel for her no accidents, no garbage can adventures, no eating stuff she's not supposed to so she yurks on the carpet, no getting in and out of bed at night, none of the stuff that she does that make the aunt-in-law nervous. She even goes to work with the sitter which is where we picked her up last night.

We arrived and she was lying there in her bed good as gold but when she saw us she turned into an animated water worm (those toys that you can't keep a hold of). She was bouncing and twisting and panting and licking all at once. Just as happy to see her Mommies as her mommies were to see her. She is sooo cute and so completely your baby dog.

So we are all at home having slept in our own bed everything was great until 4am when the cat decided to climb my face en route to the headboard so he could look out the window and scratched across my nose and under my right eye I am a damned pretty sight.

Now it is time for us to go back to work and neither one of us is ready for it we are both exhausted the dog doesn't want to let us out of her sight. We all need a day of vacation recovery I could have and I guess should have taken another day but you know about coulda, shouldas, so I must get ready now and head off aching eye and tired body, but at least I am home and will come home tonight to my house, my family, and my bed.

Wait, This Makes Me A Slacker Doesn't It

We all know how I am not all that great at posting on a REGULAR basis. We also all know that when we have not posted for a couple of days well then we become a "slacker" according to some. Well here it is folks this is the straight poop:

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)

slack·er /ˈslækər/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[slak-er] –noun

1.	a person who evades his or her duty or work; shirker.

2.	a person who evades military service.

3.	an esp. educated young person who is anti-materialistic, purposeless, apathetic, and usually works in a dead-end job.

---

[Origin: 1790–1800; slack¹ + -er¹; def. 3 popularized by the film Slackers (1991)]

—Synonyms 1. malingerer, dodger, laggard.

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

So, I guess if having and posting to your blog is your duty or work then yes in deed I am guilty as charged. However after reading definition number three I would say that there are a lot of people in this world who qualify. I again being one of them, hell I might as well admit to being guilty of number two as well. I scored fantastically on my ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery), my junior year of high school, (they were required.) I had the Marines, the Army and the Coast Guard recruiters after me the day our scores came in, I came out to the Marine, (this is the first time I have EVER told that to anyone else) and made excuses to the other two of why I couldn't possible join up. So yes, I do believe THAT I AM OFFICAILLY A SLACKER:O

I know it's good for me, BUT...

Spondylolisthesis is a condition in which one bone in your back (vertebra) slides forward over the bone below it. It most often occurs in the lower spine. In some cases, this may lead to your spinal cord or nerve roots being squeezed. This can cause back pain and numbness or weakness in your legs. In rare cases, it can also lead to losing control over your bladder or bowels. - Web M.D.

And I my friends have it, and it is no fun. Luckily I am not a rare case I still have control over my private matters but, my spinal cord and nerve roots are most definitely being squeezed, pinched or in my mind MANGLED.

There are days when there is so much stabbing shooting pain in my right leg that I just want to chop it off. It is often excruciating to take a shower or do dishes, why this two things in particular are so bad I have no idea. I have had a series of steroidal injections in my lower back and they help for a little while but not much, and not like they are supposed to.

I have now been told that I am most likely going to have to have spinal fusion surgery which at best is a 6 hour procedure. To prepare for said surgery I need to exercise and lose a lot of weight. One of the easiest ways to do this is by walking so my dearest decided today to go for a walk to see the local waterfall after the rains. Also to spend some good time together not working. I thought it was a wonderful idea. So we grabbed the little dog and some water and set off. What she failed to tell me was that it was at least a 3 mile walk. I am now one seriously sore girl. However the waterfall was spectacular! Here is a shot of Quinn and I enjoying the view from one of Mr. Rockefeller's bridges.

Weather woes

Well phooey! It looks as though it is going to clear after all and my sweetheart is going to make us go to work. Rats, I was just looking at the dog curled up in her bed and the cat snoozing at Dawn's feet and I was thinking that it would be a wonderful day to use one of those free movie on demand coupons we got from Time Warner. Curled up together under an afghan with a bowl of popcorn and just hide from the wet and damp.

I still am lacking any type of motivation and the wonderful homemade corned beef hash that she made me for breakfast is now a solid lump in my stomach. I may just go hide under the bed for the day anyways. Today is Friday but somehow feels to me like a Monday and I don't like it. Maybe I'll just go to bed with a book I have been meaning to read the sequel to my favorite childrens book of last year. That may be just the thing to lighten my mood. For any of you who enjoy a good childrens book I HIGHLY recommend checking this one out it was great. I may just re-read the first one to refresh my memory, then read the second. Have a dry and good day.