bad day

Two days ago Dawn wrote about how grateful she was to have me. Today I am not sure that she is as grateful. I was pretty sure this morning that if I went to Fail Blog that there would be a picture of me in my tie-dyed flannel pajamas with EPIC FAIL stamped across my forehead.

To start things off I awoke at 5dark:thirty with a migraine. I got up took some meds, put my sleep mask/blindfold thing on to ward of the increasing daylight, and crawled back in bed. Dawn awoke a few hours later and got up I knew she had planned some quiet reflection time this morning so I figured it was safe for me to stay in bed so I did. When I did crawl out of bed at around 9 she was ready to begin her day. She asked if I had done something yesterday and I had not. When she asked why I told her that 1. I had asked her to do it and 2. the deadline was yesterday and by the time I had a chance to do it I would not have had a chance to turn it in.

Well, I am not even sure what happened after that but I know she was PISSED. She said I've got to go, stomped out of the house slamming the door without a kiss or anything. Then she peeled out backing out of her spot, peeled it again pulling forward from where she had backed and a THIRD time when she hit the gas to leave the the driveway. I was crying before the door slammed, I felt worse then shit.

So I look and a friend is on so I chat with her here is how that started;

10:58 AM me: hey

L: hey what's up?

10:59 AM me: I suck

L: oh dear.

11:00 AM me: I think I need to leave Dawn that she would be better off without me, she just peeled out of the yard

I don't know what to do

11:01 AM L: um.

me: I keep fucking up

R: sounds like you're frustrated and depressed.

me: she is soo mad at me

11:02 AM we have been fighting for two days every minute that we are together is spent screaming

L: gah!

what's going on?

L talked me off the ledge, I didn't pack my shit. I continued to sort through the bs with L until Dawn came home then I didn't want another reason for her to be upset so I got offline. During the chat I call the place and they say that it wasn't a deadline more a GUIDEline and that I have until just before thanksgiving to get it in.

By 1PM we were both leaving the house to run errands we had not screamed at each other and she apologized for losing her temper like that and being a grumpus head in general. I apologized that I had not done the thing that started it all this morning but that I really needed her help with it or I wouldn't have asked. We went our separate ways to do our separate tasks.

As I was coming home I nearly hit a big buck with a bum back leg. He was next door and came into our yard once he got out of my way. I saw him walk across the back yard, I ran to get a flashlight as I could no longer see him in the thicket. I went back out and could hear him but we couldn't find him, even with a cop and the landlord. Oh well we have some venison in the freezer already a friend's dad got his deer and she gave us some of the meat he had given her.

Tonight things are back to normal. I did the task I didn't think I could do, all by myself. I also did a couple loads of laundry and of dishes. All in all I am still not sure why she loves me so.